Rebirth
by Aria6
Summary: What happens when Ichigo makes a wish about his inner hollow, and it comes true? But there are consequences the teen might not like. And how does his hollow feel about this? Ichi/Shiro, most likely.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: A very short beginning, but the ending is so dramatic I thought it deserved its own chapter. :) And Ichigo is going to be a bit of a dick at first, but his inner hollow has been pushing him pretty hard. Now on with the story!

"A wishing tree?" Ichigo said questioningly. "That's crazy, Keigo." He said very firmly. But his friend wasn't bothered a bit.

"It's true Ichigo! My auntie said so! The thing is, she said it can't be any kind of selfish wish. And we're going to the park with the wishing tree, so why not try it?" Keigo said and Ichigo frowned, trying to think of a reason why. He distrusted this, although not a selfish wish... well, he could easily think of a which like that.

"Sure, why not." He said, giving up. Keigo was a good friend despite his descents into lunacy. "So are we all ready to go?" Ichigo wasn't sure how he'd gotten into the position of shepherding a bunch of his schoolmates, but he seemed to be pegged as the responsible one. Shocking, given what Kon sometimes did, but he could only roll with it. After a chorus of yes's, he led them outside and everyone got on the bus.

This was a special school trip, and they were going to be staying overnight at the park. Everyone had packed up sleeping bags and the park had a shelter they could use, along with bathrooms and showers, so it would be no hardship. Ichigo was rather looking forward to it. It had been a long time since he'd gone on a camping trip. One of the girls was loudly complaining about forgetting her hairspray but Ichigo tuned her out. Some people weren't happy unless everyone around them was miserable.

The bus ride took almost three hours and they had to stop for a washroom and leg stretching break. But finally, they reached the park and Ichigo helped get all the supplies put away. There was a lot of food, mostly, but also other things that the teachers had deemed necessary.

Ichigo wasn't expecting to enjoy the park very much, and was surprised to find how much he liked it. The park was absolutely beautiful in the spring, filled with flowering trees and little rivers. There was even a lake with a rocky bottom that they were allowed to swim in, as long as one of the teachers was supervising. The cold water felt delicious after a long, hot hike through the park.

Keigo led them to the wishing tree and Ichigo had to admit it was impressive. An absolutely ancient sakura tree, it reminded him of the tree on Byakuya's estates. But he honestly thought this tree might be older. It was incredibly gnarled and looked tougher than old shoe leather.

"You just put your hands on the trunk and make a wish." Keigo said and put his hands on the trunk. "But it can't be selfish!" He warned and Ichigo shrugged. He almost didn't do it. He didn't believe in Keigo's story. But then he remembered the threat he lived under and scowled, pressing his hands against the tree.

_I wish my hollow was gone._ His hollow was challenging him regularly, almost every month, and Ichigo had won once or twice by the skin of his teeth. And he was terrified about what his hollow would do, if he gained control. The monster had mocked his concern about his friends and family on more than one occasion. What would he do to them, if he got free?

He didn't think a tree would be able to get rid of his hollow, though. Ichigo stiffened in surprise as he heard laughter, far off and echoing. It sounded like a young girl and she sounded very amused.

_That is definitely not a selfish wish! You may have what you want, but you will have to wield the sword yourself._ That faint voice said and Ichigo blinked. _It will be waiting for you, in your inner world. If you ever come to regret your wish, visit me again._ Ichigo scoffed at that, still a bit shocked to find that Keigo's wishing tree was actually the real thing. But he couldn't imagine ever regretting his wish.

He wanted his hollow gone, permanently.

hr

The nameless hollow was sleeping when it happened.

He expecting nothing at all from his King, not even a name. Ichigo simply referred to him as hollow, with clear contempt in his voice. The hollow sometimes wondered if his King understood that he was part of him. By hating his hollow he hated a part of himself.

But the hollow didn't particularly care about his King's deficiencies. He didn't care if he was treated with contempt and disgust. Although, if his King had shown him any respect, he might not have challenged him so often. The teen's attitude towards the darkness in his soul annoyed him.

The hollow was certainly not expecting Ichigo to challenge him. Why should he? He'd won the last contest so there was simply no point, except as a recreational spar. And the teen had never showed any interest in practicing with his hollow, although he could have if he'd wanted to. It was possible to initiate a conflict that was not a fight for dominance.

So the hollow was roused quite rudely from his slumber, looking around in confusion and sitting up on the roof of a building. He was wearing the clothes he always manifested when he was sleeping, the rather silly pajamas that he favored. Ichigo was standing across from in his full shinigami uniform and holding a sword that was not Zangetsu.

"What the hell is that?" The inner hollow asked as his eyes fell on that red sword. It hummed with power yet it was... wrong. "That shouldn't be here." He was absolutely certain of that. "What are you playing at, King?" He asked as he stood, his clothing switching to his jacket and hakama. Running a hand through his hair he gave his King a severe look, waiting for an answer. Ichigo did not disappoint.

"I'm getting rid of you, demon." He said harshly and the hollow rolled his eyes. The teen liked to call him that, and it was stupid. If he'd ever seen a real demon he wouldn't be confusing his hollow with one.

"Oh really?" The hollow wondered if the power in that sword could do it. And did Ichigo understand what it would mean if it could? Briefly, the hollow considered informing his King of all the possible consequences. His own survival instinct urged him in that direction, but Ichigo's contempt for him pushed him in the other way. It didn't take long for the hollow to make his decision. He had his pride and his King had affronted it one too many times. "Then fight me!"

The fight was powerful and vicious. His King was determined to destroy him, and his Horse was equally determined to survive and take his place as King.

"Are you really going to stab me with that, King?" The hollow asked, grinning wickedly as Ichigo scowled at him. Their swords were grinding against each other and the red power in his King's sword was flaring. "Are you really going to kill your loyal Horse?"

"Loyal? Don't make me laugh!" Ichigo spat into his face and the hollow's grin widened.

"Oh, but I am! I'm every bit as loyal to you as you are to me!" He said mockingly and had the satisfaction of seeing Ichigo looking like he wanted to kill him.

"Shut the fuck up!" The teenager snarled and the hollow laughed as he called on a white getsuga tenshou. Ichigo replied with his usual black one and the powers clashed, exploding together.

Finally, the battle came to an end as the hollow was disarmed. A red blade was pressed quite firmly to his chest but at the final moment, Ichigo seemed to be hesitating. The hollow grinned maniacally, enjoying the moment. It might be his last, but he was honestly too enraged with his King to care.

"Go ahead, do it! Kill what you've always hated!" He taunted the teen. His pride wouldn't allow him to grovel and beg anyway, so he might as well go out spitting into his face. "Put that thing into me and see what hap-" The sword slid forward smoothly, parting white flesh, and the end of the word came out softly as the hollow lost his breath. "-pens..."

The hollow wavered on his feet, blinking as red light flowed into his chest. Drops of red - red? - slid down the sword and puddled on the ground. The hollow coughed and felt blood sliding down the corners of his mouth. Reaching up with a trembling hand, he touched the blood there and looked at it. It was red.

_But that's wrong. My blood is black._ The hollow just looked at his King. Ichigo was scowling at him, strong and resolved and either unaware of or ignoring the strangeness. _What does this mean?_ There was one obvious thing it could mean, one possible consequence. But he could sense that wasn't it. This was something else. _Ow._ Ichigo withdrew the sword and his hollow fell to his knees, unable to say a word. Although he honestly wasn't sure what he could say to his King at this moment.

None of the curses he could think of seemed adequate to encompass all his emotions.

hr

Ichigo watched as his hollow collapsed onto his side. And he felt a deep relief as those black and gold eyes became unfocused and glazed over with approaching death.

He'd defeated his hollow many, many times, but this time he knew it was different. His hollow's blood had always been black, when he'd let it out before. This time it was red, as bright and alive as Ichigo's own. That had to mean he'd succeeded in finally getting rid of him, and Ichigo watched as the hollow drew a shaking breath before letting it out in a small sigh. White hair stirred in the currents of his underwater world, then began to vanish.

"What have you done?" Ichigo turned, startled, to see Zangetsu. The youthful zanpakuto was looking at the hollow, his expression unreadable. But Ichigo could tell he wasn't happy. Glancing back, Ichigo saw that the hollow was disappearing, vanishing in a way that reminded him of Ulquiorra's death.

"I've gotten rid of him. He won't be a danger to anyone, ever again." Ichigo said firmly. The zanpakuto was silent for a long moment, just looking at him, and Ichigo scowled as he felt an uneasy feeling. He knew Zangetsu very well, and it seemed like the zanpakuto was... disappointed.

"It is your decision, Ichigo. But I think you will regret this soon." Zangetsu finally said before swimming away and Ichigo blinked, taken aback.

"Why would I regret it? Zangetsu?" He called after the zanpakuto, but his sword spirit did not answer. Ichigo scowled, but felt the tiniest bit of fear. "Why would I regret this?" He didn't understand. His hollow was a terrible danger to his friends, family and himself. All the Visored would give anything to get rid of their hollows, and he'd finally found a way.

What could be wrong about that?


	2. Nameless Hollow

"…Stable doctor?" The unnamed hollow's eyelids fluttered at the voice.

He felt terribly strange. His body was oddly heavy, and his own reiatsu felt curiously muffled. But even with that handicap, he was still able to reach out and brush his senses over the people around him. Without opening his eyes, he identified a young woman and a much older man. They were talking about medical things that he understood but didn't care about, and the hollow finally opened his eyes.

"Nnn?" Reaching up with one hand, he found an oxygen mask on his face. For a moment he was amused by the concept – it wasn't like he needed to breathe – but then his amusement turned into confusion as he realized he was also hooked up to a heart monitor. And the steady chirping of it suggested he had a good, strong, regular heartbeat. "…" Glancing down he saw one of his arms was connected to an IV, but the other was free. Reaching up, he carefully pressed two fingers to his throat. The presence of a heartbeat was easy to confirm. "Fucking King. What in hell did he do?" The hollow said very quietly. Then he frowned. "Huh."

It wasn't just his body that was strange, it was his memories. The hollow had no idea how it could be, but his memories of living in Ichigo's inner world, the endless fights for dominance, seemed… distant and vague. Almost unreal. The hollow licked his lips, having a crazy moment where he wondered if it had all been a dream. But no. He was an inner hollow, not a human being, despite what this body was trying to tell him.

"Doctor, he's awake." That was the nurse. She was in the typical uniform and the hollow blinked at her as she bent over him. It would be so easy to grip her throat – but no. He was not some mindless hollow, searching constantly for a meal. And could he even eat such things now?

"Ah, excellent. Hello there!" The face smiling down at him was familiar. Much, much too familiar and the hollow growled softly. Why did it have to be Kurosaki's father? But then, he did run a medical clinic. Maybe if he got out of here fast enough he could avoid running into Ichigo. He wanted to see his so-called 'King' like he wanted a hole in the head. "May I ask what your name is?" Isshin asked in his usual, goofy way and the hollow gave him a scowl.

"I don't have one." He said shortly and the man looked honestly puzzled with the response.

"You don't remember your name?" Isshin seemed honestly concerned, his professional medical demeanor coming to the fore. The nameless hollow sighed.

"No, I was never given a name." He specified, reaching for the IV. "Can I go? I ain't got nothin' to pay you with anyway." He knew hospital stays had charges attached. Isshin caught his hand before he could pull out the IV and the hollow snarled, irritated.

"Of course not! And don't worry about that, our costs are covered." He assured the hollow who felt slightly puzzled. Covered? "You were found unconscious in an alleyway and brought here by the police. They will want to speak to you soon. Now, let me check you over." The hollow snarled to himself but endured the examination. He actually wanted to punch Isshin in the face and escape the clinic, but that might not be wise. Ichigo's father wasn't a complete pushover and the hollow wasn't used to this new, human body yet. Moving felt different, not as quick and assured. "You seem to be in excellent health. Would you like something to eat?"

"Yeah, sure." The hollow said, wondering what human food would be like. He could look through Ichigo's eyes, but anything more would have required the teen's cooperation. The very idea was laughable.

The food that arrived a while later didn't taste very good to him, but the hollow ate it anyway. His instincts told him to never pass up a meal and it made him feel better, almost content. Taking a last bite of something orange and a bit sweet, the hollow looked around alertly and stretched his senses. Isshin was gone, along with most of the other people. Grunting in satisfaction, the hollow slid out of the bed. Frowning, he realized he was wearing nothing but a flimsy hospital gown. But on one of the chairs was a pile of clothes, and they looked like they might belong to him. Tilting his head, the hollow explored the pile of clothing.

It wasn't his jacket and hakama, which would probably have been out of place in the Living world anyway. No, this was an outfit more suited to a teenager. The hollow smiled a little as he looked at the white t-shirt, hoodie and cargo pants. All the snaps on the cargo pants were black iron, and it came with a black leather belt decorated with black chains. This wasn't what the hollow would have chosen for himself, but it was a good outfit.

Quickly putting everything on, he tested the window and opened it with some difficulty. Then he gripped the window sill and eeled out. The window was just barely big enough for him and he had a few bad moments when his shoulders scrapped against the edges, but he finally made it. The leap down was nothing and the nameless hollow flexed his knees, easily absorbing the impact. Then he grinned and ran off into the night.

He had no idea how his King's attempt to get rid of him had turned into this and he didn't care. It might not be quite how he'd envisioned it happening, but he was free.

* * *

It was a beautiful springtime day in Karakura town. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and a young man with orange hair was sitting on the stairs leading up to the public library. It was a good place to sit and read in the sun.

"Hey Ichigo!" Ichigo looked up from his book with a smile. Renji and Rukia were there, wearing gigai's and waving at him. They both jogged across the road, coming to meet him. "How are you doing?"

"Great!" Ichigo replied with a bright smile. He was actually feeling wonderful, now that his hollow was gone.

He honestly couldn't figure out what Zangetsu meant about regretting this. His internal hollow had always been a nightmare, constantly challenging him and making dark remarks about his friends and family. The creature hadn't had a spec of caring about anyone except himself, and even that was dubious. The hollow often attacked completely recklessly, as if he didn't care about even that. Perhaps that was an illusion, though. The hollow loved to fight. Ichigo had no doubt horrible things would have happened if the hollow had gotten control. Now, he didn't have to worry about it and that was a tremendous relief.

"You're doing well at concealing your reiatsu." Renji complimented him, but that left Ichigo slightly puzzled. He wasn't doing anything new; he hadn't been getting any additional lessons lately. "It took us a while to find you. So what's been happening?"

"I finally got rid of my inner hollow." Ichigo said happily and both the shinigami looked quite surprised. "It's crazy how it happened, though. Keigo told me about a tree that grants wishes." He told them all about the tree, then willing the duel with his hollow. Renji just seemed happy for him but oddly, Rukia was a bit ambivalent.

"I've heard about spirits like that. There's usually some kind of catch." She cautioned him and Ichigo shrugged. "But as long as you're happy."

"I am. Did anything in particular bring you guys here, or did you just want to hang out?" He was cool with it either way, but Rukia and Renji usually came by for a reason.

"Well, we've been picking up some strange reiatsu in Karakura town. It almost feels demonic." Renji said very seriously, and that made Ichigo frown. He'd never heard a shinigami refer to demons before. "Have you ever fought a demon before?"

"Um, no. I wasn't aware they were real." Ichigo said cautiously and Rukia got out her sketchpad and tried to give him an explanation of demons. The explanation itself wasn't hard to follow, but the illustrations, well… "So these creatures are basically bodies without souls. Okay, if I run into one I'll try to get rid of it." He wasn't going to go out of his way hunting them, though. He had school and he'd neglected it long enough, not to mention that his reiatsu sensing still sucked.

"If you can spare some time to come with us that would be great." Renji said and Ichigo considered it before nodding. Renji and Rukia might be able to run this thing down for him to kill. And demons sounded even worse than hollows. He wanted to make sure everyone was safe from the thing.

"Sure. Want to start right now? We can go to my place, pick up Kon and store your gigai's." All the practical little things that needed to happen before hollow, or this case demon hunting.

"I thought you would never ask!" Rukia laughed as Renji grinned, and Ichigo smiled before standing up from his spot on the stairs. He'd still been hunting hollows regularly, but in general, everything was quite boring in Karakura town.

This might be interesting.

* * *

Unfortunately, freedom had a downside.

The nameless hollow slept in an alleyway, oblivious to the rain that was soaking him to the bone.

The hollow thought that rain was inconsequential. He'd lived in rain most of his short life, except for the time he'd lived underwater. Being wet was practically his natural state. Being dry was far more unusual. So he'd thought nothing of sleeping in the open, on a day when the rain was threatening to pour down.

He didn't know it, but his body was paying the price for that thoughtlessness. A shiver wracked his slender frame and the nameless hollow shifted, whimpering softly in his sleep. Eyelids scrunched tight as the wind picked up and the driving rain lashed his body. The hollow finally woke up, groaning softly as he struggled up.

"I feel like shit." He mumbled to himself, breathing on his fingers to warm them. It was early spring and the rain was cold, cold, cold. "Nnngh." Pushing himself to his feet the hollow considered where to find his next meal.

His routine of survival in the real world was very simple. Every morning he slipped into this odd, ornamental garden surrounding a strange building and bathed in the pond. Then he sat on the banks of the pond, combing out his hair with his fingers for as long as it took to get the strands silky and smooth again. That often took quite a while. Then, when that was done he would go search for his meal. His sense of smell was very keen, even in this human body, and he could usually find some discarded scraps. Or he could steal, but that was more difficult. The only really successful theft he'd had was of a pie some foolish woman had set on a window sill to cool.

A cough wracked him and the hollow blinked, then coughed again before bringing up a wad of sticky stuff. He spat it onto the ground and frowned before shaking his head. He was so wet he didn't need a bath, but he thought he would visit the gardens anyway. There were a few fish in the pond and maybe he could catch one. If he did, he would eat it raw. There was no way for him to cook it.

As he walked to that place, the nameless hollow became aware of how truly miserable he was. His skin felt hot, his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and his chest hurt. His nose was dripping, too, and it wasn't just the rain. He didn't know why he felt this way but he didn't like it. But he had no idea what to do about it.

Dragging his sneaker clad feet along the ground, the sniffling, miserable hollow slipped into the gardens. It was probably pointless, the fabric was soaked already, but he stripped off his clothes before wading into the water. The icy chill of it made him flinch but the hollow gazed into the pond intently. If he waited long enough, concentrated hard enough, he could get used to the patterns caused by the raindrops and spot the movements of the fish beneath.

He was completely oblivious to concerned eyes watching him from the main building.

"Sajira-sama, that boy is by the pond again." The young monk told his master, who was sipping tea. His master, a very elderly man who resembled Yamamoto, raised his eyebrows.

"In the rain?" All the monks were aware of the homeless boy who was using their pond in the mornings. His white skin and hair made him very easy to spot, and monks believed in rising quite early in the day to begin their meditations. Some had wanted to chase the teenager away, mainly because he had no qualms about nudity. Some had wanted to report him to the police, who would no doubt take him in for vagrancy. But the abbot of the monastery had been fascinated by the unusual child and had decided otherwise. He wasn't sure what a pure white boy could be a sign of, but he thought it was a sign of something.

Abandoning his tea, the monk went to the window and peered out. He couldn't make out the boy through the rain, but he trusted the younger monk's eyesight. His own was failing and he required glasses for reading, these days.

"Should we go see if he is well, Sajira-sama?" The young monk sounded quite concerned and the old man nodded.

"Yes, we should. This is a bitter day." And it wasn't the first bitter day they'd seen. How was the boy faring? The abbot didn't want him frightened away, but he didn't want the teen to die of sickness or malnutrition.

That turned out to be a fortuitous decision. When they arrived at the pond they found a naked teenager passed out on the grass, a dead koi fish clutched in one hand. The old monk knelt beside him and gently shook the boy's shoulder as the young one held a flashlight, but nothing would rouse the child.

"Umi-kun, take the boy inside. I will gather his clothes." The abbot said. He knew his limits and knew he was in no way fit enough to carry a child this size. He took the flashlight from the younger monk and began gathering up the boy's clothes. They were all white, he noticed, although badly stained and worn from his life on the streets. They also didn't smell particularly good and likely had not been washed in some time.

Carrying everything inside, the abbot summoned several more monks. Working together they got the unconscious boy dried, warmed and tucked into a nice warm bed. The monks did not believe in using luxurious beds in general, but they had some very nice ones for when people fell ill and needed a bit of extra comfort.

"Tch." The abbot clicked his tongue as he touched the child's forehead. "He has a fever. Nano-kun, call the – " The elderly monk fell silent as eyes opened for a moment. They were glazed and nearly unaware, but it was their appearance that arrested the watchers.

"Sajira-sama, those eyes! Is he a demon?" One of the monks gasped as the others murmured. They didn't really believe in demons. It was modern times, after all. But no one had ever seen eyes like that before. The abbot, though, was made of sterner stuff.

"Demons are not real. As I was about to say, Nano-kun, call the doctor. We'll have him check the child's eyes too, he might be blind." That simple an explanation settled his monks down somewhat. Frowning, the abbot considered what to do with the boy.

They would have to nurse him back to health, of course. That was a given. Charity was part of what being a monk was about. But what would they do with him then? Perhaps he could be made a samanera, a novice. Yet, the abbot had his doubts. He could tell this boy was special, very special, but he didn't think the child was destined to be a monk.

But they would have to wait for him to wake and learn a bit more about him before they could make any decisions.


	3. Hidden Talents

Author's Note: Finding information on Buddhist monks in general wasn't that hard, but it wasn't too specific… or specific to Japan. So I'm sort of making some stuff up. Can't take a trip to Japan for a fanfic…

The nameless hollow woke up to absolute misery.

He'd been in pain before, of course. More times than he could count in fact. Every time his King put him in his place, he'd been put through pain. He didn't mind, though. That was the price of his drive to succeed and remove his King from his throne.

The pain he was suffering now was different. Instead of sharp, cutting pain that would pass quickly, he felt cold, so cold his bones ached with it. Yet, he felt hot as well, and the hollow whimpered as he tried to figure out what to do. Should he huddle deeper into the blankets or push them away? There seemed to be no way to win.

Glazed black and gold eyes looked at those blankets for a moment. They were big and fluffy and bright orange, very warm. His gaze travelled over simple, beige walls set with windows on one side. He could vaguely make out pounding rain on the other side, and the windows rattled at a particularly strong gust of wind.

Comforted by the fact that he was inside, the nameless hollow let his gaze travel to the ceiling. It was an oddly textured ceiling, with curves and curls that mesmerized the eyes. His eyes, at least, but the hollow was very sick. A cough rattled his body and he whined softly as he realized how much his throat and chest hurt.

"What's wrong with me?" He said, his distorted voice scratchy and suffering. "Nngh."

"You have pneumonia." That voice surprised him and the hollow turned his head to see a kindly looking old man with a huge beard. The fact that he'd completely missed the man was a testament to how ill he was. Normally the hollow was always aware of his surroundings. "How are you feeling?"

"Fucking awful." The hollow said before coughing again. It was a thick, wet cough that made his chest hurt more. "Nngh… who are you?" He'd never seen this man before. Not that he knew much of anyone. He knew Ichigo, his family and his friends, although none of them knew him. That was it.

"I am Sajira Kumano, the abbot of this monastery." He said and the nameless hollow blinked, then frowned. He knew what a monastery was, of course. He had a very good vocabulary. He wondered what he was doing inside one, though. "We found you unconscious by our pond. Now, what is your name?"

"Oh." That explained what he was doing here. He'd wondered what the building in the centre of the gardens was for. Apparently, it was a Buddhist monastery. "I was never given a name." He said and grimaced, rubbing his throat. "Do you have something to drink?" It was really hurting and he thought maybe some liquid would help. The abbot nodded and poured him some tea, sweetening it with a generous dollop of honey. The hollow sipped the tea and found it was quite soothing.

"You were never given a name?" The abbot asked, his voice very non-judgemental. But the hollow could detect the disapproval behind it and wondered what he was thinking. But the inner hollow despised lies. More than anything, that was what he hated about Ichigo, how the teen lied to himself and tried to insist that his inner darkness was not really part of him. So the nameless hollow answered honestly.

"I'm a hollow. A kind of evil spirit." He half-shrugged as the abbot frowned, clearly not entirely believing him. "I'm the dark side of a boy named Ichigo Kurosaki. He found a way to get rid of me and somehow that gave me a human body." He sipped his tea again. "I remember that pneumonia is an infection, but how did I catch it?" He didn't really understand that. Isshin had said that he was healthy. The abbot frowned.

"Your clothes were soaked when we found you. I would assume you caught it from exposure… but child, an evil spirit? Such things do not exist." The abbot said in a gentle way and the nameless hollow scowled. He didn't appreciate being called a liar.

"You can believe me or not, I don't care." He said grouchily and for some reason that made the man smile. "I can leave – ugh…" Trying to move was clearly a mistake and the room seemed to revolve around him. Then there was a hand on his shoulder and he didn't fight it as the monk guided him back to the bed.

"You are in no condition to be moving, child. Well, if you have no name we will have to name you." The abbot considered him for a moment and the hollow just blinked at him. "You will be… Shiro Akuma Kurosaki. How does that sound?"

"White demon?" The nameless hollow was amused by the name. "Why not. I suppose I do need something." If he didn't take some kind of name he figured he would be pegged as 'whitey' or something equally stupid. And 'hey you' was undignified. "Not sure if I want his last name though…" There was a sort of annoying. Yet, oddly fitting, since they were technically the same person. "Ah, it'll do. Ugh…" He coughed again and reached for the teacup. "More?" He asked and the abbot nodded before pouring him more tea and adding another dollop of honey. "Thank you."

"Rest. We can talk more when you're well." The old man said and Shiro nodded. He really didn't want to talk anymore, his throat was killing him. So instead of stressing himself further, he sipped his tea, then settled back into the blankets and tried to sleep. His sleep was broken and tormented with strange dreams. They were surreal and the hollow didn't like them, but he was powerless to stop them.

The next few days were unpleasant. Shiro woke only to eat and go to the bathroom, and when he ate the monks gave him pills, antibiotics meant to combat the infection. They worked quite well and after three days, the inner hollow was beginning to feel almost human again. His body still ached and he had a vile headache, but the cough and chest pain was beginning to ease. He was eating a bowl of chicken soup when the abbot stopped by to have another chat with him.

"Good morning, Shiro." He said and the hollow glanced out the window. The rain had stopped, but it was so overcast that it was really hard to tell it was morning. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Thank you for caring for me." He said before taking another sip of his soup. He knew it would probably shock Ichigo, hearing his hollow thanking anyone for anything, but he did understand social niceties. And there was no reason for these people to help him. Such charity was almost unknown to hollows, but he was part of a human so he did understand it.

"It was nothing." The abbot brushed it away, but Shiro shook his head. He thought there was a decent chance he might have died if the monks hadn't taken him in. He'd never imagined he could become so sick so easily. "I was wondering what your plans are?" He asked and Shiro frowned, looking into his soup.

"I don't have any. I don't have anything to make plans with." He said, a touch bitterly. Ichigo had family, friends, clothing and food. What did his hollow have? Only what he could take. And while that was fine as a hollow it wasn't nearly as good when he was trapped in a weak, human body. "Just keep finding food and be more careful finding places to sleep, I guess." Now that he knew the rain could harm him, he would have to put effort into finding shelter.

"Would you like to stay?" The monk asked and Shiro blinked at him, surprised. "Perhaps as a novice?"

"I, uh… what does being a novice involve?" He asked cautiously. The abbot detailed the ten precepts sramanera were supposed to live by, and the hollow did not find it particularly palatable. "What about killing dead things? Is that okay? And what about things that have never been alive or dead?" Shinigami were technically dead things, just like hollows. And demons were definitely in the 'never alive' category. "And I'm not sure about this no sexual contact thing." Ichigo was a virgin, so his hollow was as well, but hollows did not believe in holding back from their desires. Shiro hadn't seen anything that interested him yet, but when he did, well, he planned to take it with both hands.

"Ah… killing dead things has never come up before. And I'm not sure what you mean by never alive or dead." The abbot sounded bemused and a bit concerned, probably for his sanity. Shiro scowled.

"Demons are soulless bodies. They're not alive and they sure as hell aren't dead. They move around but they're more like rocks and shit." He said and saw the old man looking rather disturbed. "Don't worry, real demons are really rare. You hardly ever run into them anymore."

"That is a relief. Well… perhaps you could just stay here for a while, on a tentative acceptance. We can see how it works out." The abbot said optimistically and Shiro blinked as he realized the old man really wanted him to stay.

"Why do you want me to stay so badly?" That made the hollow suspicious. The old man tugged on his beard thoughtfully.

"You are very unusual, and your story is even moreso. It sounds like a fever dream, but the doctor was at a loss to explain your eyes." Shiro unconsciously reached up to touch the side of his head. He knew his eyes must be incredibly strange for the humans around him. "I can't help but think you came to us for a reason. I want to know what that reason is. Will you stay?"

"Uh…" Shiro thought hard for a moment. It would mean giving up a lot of his freedom and possibly following the sramanera rules, but most of them were okay. He hated lying, he was a shitty thief and he wasn't interested in alcohol, for instance. The chastity thing might be a moot point, too. The only people he found remotely attractive were those as strong or stronger than himself. Ironically, that included his so-called 'King', not that Ichigo would ever have thought of his hollow that way. But most humans wouldn't have a hope in hell of turning him on. "Okay. I'll stay for now." He said. The thought of having adequate shelter and meals he didn't have to scavenge for had a huge appeal.

"Wonderful! In a few days, if you're still feeling better, you will have your own room." The monk promised and Shiro nodded, wondering how this would go.

He would just have to see.

* * *

Once he was well, things got a little odd for the hollow.

He joined the rest of the novices for lessons and found, to his surprise, that he rather enjoyed them. He'd often spied on Ichigo while he was at school, but just passively watching the teen wasn't much fun. So he'd usually gone back to the inner world to read a book, practice or sleep. Every book Ichigo had ever read was stored in his inner world, so the hollow had plenty of reading material.

Now, though, he was experiencing learning for himself. He was far behind in every subject except reading – he was a master at that – but Shiro didn't care. As far as he was concerned it was the process that mattered, not the goal. How long would he be free from his King? The thought made the hollow smile evilly. His King would be discovering, soon, the disadvantages to losing his hollow…

Shrugging that thought aside, Shiro padded silently through the rooms. The building the monks lived in was very old, but well kept, and he liked the way the wooden floors felt under his bare feet. Today he needed to help in the kitchen. All the novices did plenty of work and he didn't particularly mind. They were allowed to chat as long as they could work and talk at the same time, so it could even be interesting.

Shiro happened to glance inside a room and paused, interested in what he was seeing. He knew what it was, of course. His King had been forced to try to paint once, and his efforts had been so laughably amusing that the hollow had giggled to himself all day. So he knew what an easel looked like. Someone had set it up in front of a vase with a single yellow tulip, in front of a window. The lighting at this time of day was excellent and it was clear what they intended to paint. But the person intending to do the painting was missing.

The hollow knew, vaguely, that he should leave it alone. But he was intrigued and his moral sense was not well developed. Also, there was a reason why Ichigo had no artistic talent. The teen was uninterested, so any potential skill had been shoved onto his hollow, just like everything his King didn't want. And Shiro had practiced endlessly, in the inner world. He'd had nothing better to do, really, and while his artwork quickly washed away it was still something to do.

The thought of creating something that wouldn't wash away was immensely appealing. Grabbing the paints, Shirt dipped his finger in the yellow and began to smear the paint across the canvass. His strokes were quick and casual, but unerring. He knew precisely what he was doing. Then he dipped his pinky finger in the white and began to add highlights to the yellow.

The hollow didn't have much time so he didn't bother with any background, just bringing the tulip into being. He didn't bother with the brushes, because he'd never used them. He just used his fingers to create the flower, and then the vase. It wasn't particularly detailed, but it wasn't supposed to be. He was attempting to capture the feeling of the flower.

When he was done, Shiro stepped back and looked at his work critically. It wasn't the best thing he'd ever done, but it wasn't bad. Shrugging to himself, he grabbed a rag and tried to get the paint off his hands. Annoyingly, it didn't want to go and he hissed to himself. But he was going to the kitchen, they would surely have something that could remove paint there. Leaving the new painting behind, he left to join the other novices. He was a little late but couldn't bring himself to care.

That had been fun.

* * *

"Sajira-sama? I was wondering if you could look at something?" One of the monks asked and the abbot looked up from his paperwork, surprised.

"Certainly Umio-kun." He said agreeably before rising from his cushions. He didn't much enjoy the paperwork, although it was part of his duties. "What is it?"

"I set up my easel this morning to try to capture the image of a tulip." The younger monk said as he showed the abbot to the room Shiro had visited. "You see what has been done." The old monk's breath caught as he looked at the canvass.

The tulip was beautiful. Crude yet very appealing, it seemed like the very essence of _flower._ Sajira examined it, fascinated. None of the monks really had much in the way of artistic ability. Umio enjoyed painting, but everyone knew he was not very good at it. Who could have done this? His mind turned to the new addition to their monastery.

"Shiro." He murmured to himself as Umio made an interrogative sound. "It must have been Shiro." He amplified as the younger man frowned. Many of the monks were a bit uneasy about the albino. His story had gotten around, and while no one really believed it his eyes were enough to make everyone wonder. "I will speak to him." He said, inwardly overjoyed. He'd known there was something special about the boy, beyond his stories about evil spirits and the afterlife.

This talent would have to be nurtured.

* * *

"Shiro-kun, is this your painting?" Shiro looked up from where he was elbow deep in suds. It was the old man, Sajira-sama, and he had the tulip painting he'd made with his fingers.

"Yep." He said shortly. He still disdained lying. "Sorry about taking the canvass." Those things had to cost a bit of money, although probably not a lot. The old man waved it away.

"That is nothing, we have plenty. Why didn't you mention you could do this?" He asked and the hollow blinked.

"Can't everyone?" He asked, then remembered Ichigo. Clearly, everyone couldn't… although that was his King's fault. He'd had the talent once, but he'd given it away to his hollow. "It didn't seem important." He still didn't think it was important. What good was it, really? Someone in the kitchen laughed and Shiro glowered around, unable to spot who it was. Then the abbot cleared his throat, regaining the young hollow's attention.

"This is not a talent most people have, Shiro." He said gently, which only confused the hollow. If this was something good why had Ichigo given it away? "We will have to see about getting you a teacher, or sending you to art classes."

"…Okay." Shiro didn't see anything to object to in that. He loved painting, and going to a class specifically to paint more? Excellent. "Let me know when and where, and I'll be there." He certainly didn't have anything better to do. The abbot nodded and the head of the kitchen immediately told everyone to get back to work. Shiro devoted his attention to the dishes again.

He really didn't mind the work. It was something to do.


	4. What is the King without his Horse?

"Hey Chad!" Ichigo waved to his friends with a happy smile. "Inoue!"

"Ichigo!" Orihime waved back as Chad simply nodded. Ichigo threaded his way through the tables, going to join his friends. They were at the local pizza joint and arcade, which was really a ton of fun. They normally wouldn't have been – the arcade could cost quite a bit of money – but there had been an essay contest in the newspaper. To everyone's surprise, Orihime had won it and as a consequence, she had a hundred tokens to the arcade. She was giving them each a portion, and in return they were buying her dinner.

And the pizza was really good. Ichigo settled into his chair and got to enjoy just being a normal teenager for a while. And it was even better without his hollow's nasty remarks or even just the sense that the bastard was eyeing Chad. Ichigo wasn't sure why he'd always felt that his hollow was interested in the other teen. Maybe it was because his powers were more hollow than anything.

Pushing aside any thoughts of his departed hollow, Ichigo examined the menu. The pizza here was very good and he quickly settled on his favorite, double pepperoni with olives. He was completely unaware of someone at another table noticing him.

"Hey Shiro, that guy looks like you." One of the novices, a young man named Nakao, said. They were all in street clothes and the four of them were visiting this place as a treat. It was Tataki's birthday and with the money his parents had sent him, he'd invited three of his friends out for supper. Shiro was mildly surprised that the other novice considered him a friend, but he had helped him with cleaning out the grease traps. That had been nasty and Shiro hadn't been ordered to do it, he'd just been feeling helpful.

"Oh yeah?" Shiro said, not really paying attention. He was giving his full attention to the menu, which was fascinating. He knew his King had always ordered the double pepperoni with olives. Of course, the hollow had never been able to taste it. He was tempted to order something else just to be contrary, but he was curious to see what Ichigo liked about that particular combination.

"He has bright orange hair!" That made Shiro's head snap around and his eyes narrowed into slits as he spotted his nemesis. He was tempted to go start something right away, but then his eyes slid carefully to the fourth person at the table.

Ken was not a novice. He was a stocky man with deeply tanned skin, black hair and hazel eyes. He was one of the youngest monks, and he'd just joined a year ago. Shiro had no idea why he'd committed to his vows but he thought there was an interesting story behind it, since Ken was an expert martial artist and also very good with knives. He gave the novices lessons in self-defence and they adored him, which was why he had been invited. But he posed a problem for Shiro's plans of revenge against Ichigo. If he moved against the teen Ken would be sure to intervene. He knew all about Shiro's abilities – they'd been sparring frequently – and he would not take any use of them lightly.

"Too bad for him. Must make him easy to spot at night." Shiro said with faked indifference, turning back to his menu. He had to wait until Ken wasn't around. Deciding to order Ichigo's favorite – he really did want to know why it was so good – Shiro surreptitiously monitored the small group. To his pleasure, he saw they were just getting their food. His former King would be around for a while.

"It's too bad Uryu couldn't come." Orihime said sadly and Ichigo nodded, his mouth full. "He works too hard sometimes."

"It's difficult, staying number one on the list." Chad said quietly and they both nodded. His position on the list of students was very important to Uryu, and he'd stayed home to work on a very large project. Of course, he'd made it far more difficult than it had to be, but that was why he was on the very top of the students.

"I would never want to do it, but it's really impressive. So what are you guys planning to do this summer?" Ichigo asked, changing the subject as he took a drink of his coke. He didn't like coke that much in general, but it went well with the pizza. "Dad wants us all to go camping at one of the national parks." They were all looking forward to that like a hole in the head. In fact, it looked like a revolt was brewing since Yuzu and Karin desperately wanted to go see Don Kanonji's special show instead. Normally Isshin would want that too, but they'd done that several years in a row and he'd suddenly decided his daughters needed more fresh air. Ichigo honestly wasn't sure which idea he liked least. The camping might be fun, but he could just imagine how his dad would act. Don Kanonji's show wasn't his thing but at least it would be over relatively quickly.

"I will be working more at the chip truck." Chad said, eating a bit of his pizza. It was a margherita pizza with nothing but tomato sauce, cheese and fresh basil. "I need to save for my apprenticeship." Chad had decided that he was going to go into the trades. Apparently, there was currently a lot of skilled tradesmen retiring and plenty of openings. Ichigo was seriously thinking of looking into that.

"My sister is taking me to Europe!" Orihime said, eliciting immediate envy from her two friends. "We're going to be backpacking across the continent for months before finally flying home! It'll be so much fun!" She clapped her hands and bounced a little, making both the boys smile. It was really extremely cute.

Over at Shiro's table, he was finding that he really liked Ichigo's double pepperoni and olive pizza. Vaguely annoying, but not really surprising. Nakao and Tataki were talking about cars, a subject that went completely over his head.

"Shiro, I was wondering. If I got a sweater, could you decorate it like yours?" Ken asked and Shiro reached up to unconsciously touch the hood of his sweater. He'd found some fabric paints and had carefully painted a pattern on the left side of it that mimicked an eye. It was very tribal and vaguely reminiscent of his old mask.

"Sure, if you want. Would you want the same pattern or something different?" He asked, still keeping an eye on Ichigo. They were finishing eating. Would they be leaving or going to the arcade? Shiro was pleased when they went to the arcade. It would be easier to catch Ichigo in there.

"Something different, I think. That suits you but I don't think it would work for me. What would you recommend?" Ken asked and Shiro blinked, giving the question his full attention for a moment. "I am rather fond of dragons."

"I could do something with that, easily." Shiro said, pleased. "A really long, serpent like one. Maybe I could have it curling over your shoulder?" He really liked that idea and Ken seemed very pleased at the thought.

"That would be wonderful. I'll get the sweater for you soon. Did you want to try the arcade machines?" The monk asked and Shiro nodded with a grin. He couldn't _wait_ to try the arcade machines.

"Absolutely!" Ken got them all some tokens, probably as a small payment for the artwork. Shiro quickly took his and went into the arcade area, separating from Nakao and Tataki as he looked for his target. He did get briefly distracted for a moment as he spotted Chad. Of all of Ichigo's friends, Sado was the one his hollow liked best. The combination of his slightly hollow reiatsu and his quiet demeanour had a calming effect on Shiro.

But calm was not what he wanted at the moment and his eyes narrowed as he tried to find Ichigo. He finally located the teen on a racing simulator, where he was quickly failing against the machine. Shiro grinned and deliberately cocked his elbow.

"OW!" Ichigo was taken completely by surprise by the burst of pain. Turning around with a glare he froze as he saw the color white. His gaze travelled over white sneakers, white cargo pants, white hoodie, and finally settled on a horribly familiar smile. The hood was hiding the eyes but the tribal pattern on one side of it was familiar, and when the boy lifted his head Ichigo met his eyes. The black and gold, malicious stare made him feel like his world was falling away.

"Hello, _partner._ Long time no see." The words were followed by an evil grin. Ichigo knew he was gaping but he couldn't help it. He'd never expected to see his hollow again. "Why don't we pick up where we left off, hey?" Then there was a hand in the front of his shirt, pulling him out of the chair and the teen snapped out of his daze.

"How the hell? How are you human?" He demanded. Because his hollow was definitely human. Ichigo could just barely sense his hollow reiatsu, and it made him feel a bit like Chad. The hollow sneered.

"Oh, now you want to talk to me? Fuck you King!" The hand left his shirt, but only so the hollow could throw a punch. Ichigo blocked the blow and responded in kind, almost knocking the white haired boy into another kid. Vaguely, Ichigo noticed that his hollow still had long hair. It was caught with a black tie and was hanging down one side of his chest.

But there was no room for a proper fight inside the arcade and Shiro snarled to himself before making a quick break for the exit. He darted easily past a group of girls then grinned to himself as his 'King' nearly ran into them. There was a muttered apology as Ichigo went around them and Shiro stopped on the pavement outside the arcade, turning back and falling into a fighting stance. He was going to make Ichigo _pay_ for the pain he'd caused him.

There were no words now, only blows, and Shiro grinned as he felt the bloodlust rising. He'd been keeping it under strict control lately, both because he had no one to vent it on and because his human body was so weak and fragile. But now he was embracing his hate and rage and letting everything out. He dodged a punch and kicked Ichigo in the stomach, laughing wildly at the whoof of air and the way the teen doubled over for just a moment. But Ichigo was every put as good as he was and Shiro's feet were swept out from under him. Snarling, the hollow rolled and bounced to his feet in time to block a blow with his forearm. Pain radiated from the hit and Shiro knew he was going to be hurting tomorrow but he didn't care –

Then, to both their surprise, Ichigo's fist was caught by a larger hand and Shiro yelped, folding over as he was kicked in the stomach. They hadn't been watching the bystanders and one of them had chosen to intervene, very effectively.

"SHIRO AKUMA KUROSAKI!" Shiro cringed, still hunched over, as Ken shoved Ichigo away and turned on him. A hand caught his ear and the hollow yelped as he was yanked forward, his hood falling back. "What do you think you are doing?! You are a disgrace!"

"Hey, why are you assuming I started it – OW!" Shiro winced as his ear was pulled roughly. That really hurt, but he didn't dare strike at Ken. He really enjoyed his life at the monastery and between the two of them, Ken and Ichigo could certainly kick his ass. Besides, he rather liked the martial arts instructor.

"Are you telling me you didn't?" Ken asked and Shiro wisely kept silent. "You are a horrible example to the other novices!" Ichigo was looking at them both in utter disbelief and Shiro snarled, giving him the finger. "SHIRO!"

"OW! STOP!" Shiro really, really wasn't enjoying this ear pulling thing. "I'm sorry, okay?" He was sorry Ken had caught him, so it wasn't a lie, technically.

"You should be! You will have to apologize to Tataki for ruining his birthday party, and explain your disgraceful conduct to Sajira-sama! Now come!" Ken let go of his ear to grab onto his arm, which was a change Shiro was in favour of. As he was pulled away, Shiro gave his former King a backwards glance full of hatred.

He was not going to forgive and he certainly wasn't going to forget.

* * *

"Kurosaki-kun, what was that…?" Inoue said timidly as all three of the teens watched the departing monk and his charge. They only knew he was a Buddhist monk because of the comment about the novices. Two other boys were quickly following, and Ichigo could only assume that they were his hollow's… friends.

"That was my inner hollow." He said, still cushioned by shock and disbelief. When he'd asked to get rid of his hollow, he'd never imagined it would be like this. "Shiro Akuma…" White demon. It did suit him. "Why is he using my last name?" That was irritating. There was a sigh in his mind.

_He has every right to it. He is part of you._ Zangetsu reminded him, making the teen scowl.

"That _thing_ is not part of me." He muttered to the zanpakuto who sent him a feeling of disgust.

_He isn't now._ The grumpiness in that reply made Ichigo blink. Zangetsu really wasn't very happy with him and was acting surprisingly crabby about the whole thing.

"Your inner hollow is a novice at a Buddhist monastery?" Chad asked and Ichigo cringed a little at the thought. It was wrong on so many levels, he hardly had words to describe it.

"He seems to be." Was all he could come up with. "Forget about him. He's no real danger." Ichigo was certain of that. His inner hollow had attacked him with nothing but fists and ferocity. He was still a dangerous fighter, but if he was trapped in his human body, and Ichigo was willing to bet he was, the damage he could cause was limited. Inoue and Chad both looked dubious. "No real danger to you. I'll have to keep a watch for him." The look his hollow had given him when the monk dragged him away… he was sure he'd be seeing Shiro again someday. And Karakura town wasn't really that large. They were bound to run into each other eventually. "Let's get back to the arcade." He rubbed his chest. He had a few bruises, but they would be fine in time. Then he frowned. Would his hollow try to hurt him by harming his friends? But somehow, he didn't think so. He'd definitely had the opportunity to go after Chad or Orihime, and he'd gone straight for Ichigo. But the teen couldn't help but worry.

He remembered the threats his hollow had made.

* * *

"Ugh." Shiro mumbled as he cleaned off his hands, again.

The sun was hot and he was feeling uneasy at the crowds. Fortunately, the young mothers and children waiting in line for his attentions were all relatively well behaved. Unfortunately, that didn't save him from dribbling or upset babies. So far, he'd needed to clean the drool and snot off his hands five times, and the puke once. That had gotten his shirt, too, and it was slightly stained now.

As both a punishment and a community service, Shiro had been volunteered to work at the local fair. Apparently, it was a common punishment for young delinquents, and Sajira-sama thought it would suit him perfectly. So Shiro had spent the morning doing hard labour, helping set up some of the temporary merchants. Then he'd gone to work at the face painting stall. The abbot had specifically requested that spot for him, citing his artistic talent.

And it really was going well. He could make beautiful designs with nothing but his fingers, and his speed was second to none. As far as he could tell, all the parents were pleased. Shiro grabbed his bottle of water and took a quick drink before motioning the next group over. To his surprise, he recognized them. And one of them recognized him.

"You! You're the boy who came to my clinic!" Shiro grimaced to himself. Only a week later and he was running into Ichigo's dad and his sisters? But then, Karin and Yuzu would like face painting. It wasn't just for babies. "Did you find your family?" Isshin seemed quite concerned and Shiro evaded the question.

"I found a place to stay." He said as Yuzu took a seat on the stool in front of him with a smile. "What kind of pattern would you like?"

"A butterfly, please! And could it be purple?" She asked and Shiro nodded as he began to paint. Unfortunately, it did take a few minutes and that gave Isshin plenty of time to pepper him with questions. Some were easy, like his name, but others were a bit difficult.

"Why did you leave the clinic?" He asked and Shiro frowned, carefully adding some blue to the butterflies' wings. The wings surrounded Yuzu's eyes and traveled onto her cheeks and forehead, while the body was on her nose and the head was between her eyes. He made the body a simple black, curved line and the head was just a black dot with cutely cocked antenna.

"I'm not that fond of the police." He said, which was at least somewhat true. The inner hollow wasn't fond of any authority figures. "Hmm." He outlined the wings with black, then added tiny white dots. The result was simple but gorgeous. "There you go." He said with a smile, cleaning off his hands as Karin jumped onto the stool. "What would you like?" Shiro asked and Karin shrugged.

"I don't know, surprise me." She said and Shiro blinked then grinned. That gave him a marvelous idea… breaking out the white paint, he gave her a credible version of Ichigo's mask. Not the full one – that would take too long – but the smaller half-mask he'd used when he first came out. When he was done Karin looked in the mirror approvingly. "Creepy. I like it." She said, hopping to her feet. Shiro's grin widened. He was sure Ichigo would have a nice reaction to it. It was only a shame he wouldn't be there to see it.

"Tell Ichigo that Shiro said hi." He said and the kids gave him a startled look as Isshin smiled happily. The elder Kurosaki paid him for the work, and Shiro put it into the cash box. All the money he was earning today was going to charity. The hollow could tell that Isshin was assuming he was Ichigo's friend, which was pretty amusing. He wasn't going to correct the mistake, though.

If Shiro had been there to see the look on Ichigo's face when he saw Karin's half-mask, he would have laughed himself sick. And the Kurosaki clan did find it rather amusing, even without knowing the cause.

"You trying to catch flies, nii-san?" Karin asked with a fiendish grin. That made the situation slightly worse, as the expression reminded Ichigo forcibly of his inner hollow. "Or pee your pants?"

"Karin! That's mean!" Yuzu said, shocked, as Isshin laughed.

"I never thought my son would be so frightened by a bit of face painting!" That made Ichigo's mouth snap shut and he blinked. Face painting? Then he looked at it again and saw it was definitely paint, although it had been very artistically done by someone who knew exactly what his mask looked like. And that meant… "You should get one yourself, Ichigo!"

"Uh, yeah, I should. Where is this guy?" He asked and followed their directions. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he wanted to find out what his hollow was up to, putting that mask on Karin.

Although managing to talk to Shiro turned out to be difficult. Ichigo was a little shocked to see how hard his hollow was working, and how deft he was at it. He would pick up a bit of paint with one finger and turn it into something recognizable so fast, it was almost unbelievable. Although…

"I hope those paints are edible or you're going to be getting sick." Ichigo said as his hollow smeared a bit of paint on his lips by accident. The white boy didn't even twitch at the familiar voice, just glanced over with a sneer.

"We put it on babies' faces. I dunno, do you think it's edible or not?" He said contemptuously and Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "If you want to talk, get in line and pay for a painting." Shiro said as he went back to his work. Ichigo scowled, considering just demanding some answers. But then a lot of normal people would hear their conversation. Reluctantly stepping away he got into line for a painting. It wasn't very long before it was his turn and Ichigo reluctantly took a seat across from his hollow, fully expecting him to attack. But the hollow was all business. "What d'you want?"

"Um…" Taken aback, he realized he should have thought about that. He wasn't sure he wanted the hollow to get too creative, that might be embarrassing. But he couldn't think of anything. "Do you have any suggestions?" He asked warily and Shiro shrugged.

"Yeah, a tiger, it would go with your hair." He said and Ichigo blinked before nodding. That actually sounded good and the hollow quickly began working on the design. "So what do you want, _King?_" Ichigo swallowed at the hatred in that word. He'd always known his hollow hated him, of course. But somehow it was different when his hollow was just a boy, not a horrific force inside his mind. It made him feel… guilty.

"What are you doing here?" He pushed the feeling away, giving the hollow a severe look. Shiro laughed shortly as he painted.

"Doin' penance for trying to fuck you up. All the proceeds go to charity. Next question?" The hollow said and Ichigo frowned. "Oi! Stop that, you're messing me up here."

"Uh, sorry." He tried to keep his face still as Shiro applied the black stripes. "Why did you put that mask on Karin?" That was really bothering him. Was his hollow going to target his family?

"To screw with you." He said and Ichigo blinked, giving his hollow a skeptical look. "What? How was I supposed to even know you idiots were at the fair? So tell me King, are you missing your horse yet?" Shiro asked and Ichigo scowled, not caring about the face paint.

"Why in hell would I miss you, you monster?" He said and Shiro tittered. It was that high, maniacal laugh that Ichigo had always hated. "Stop that!" He barked, just like he had a thousand times before. His hollow just grinned at him.

"I'm not going to answer that for you, _King._ But I'll give you something to reflect on. Tell me, what is the King without his Horse?" Shiro asked mockingly and Ichigo frowned again. "Zangetsu could tell you, but he's too kind. Go on, Ichigo, find out the hard way. I have things to do." Brown eyes met black and gold for a long, hard stare. But Ichigo finally stood, reluctantly breaking the staring contest. He probably couldn't win it anyway.

His hollow had always been good at that sort of thing.


	5. The Answer to the Question

"Hey Tataki, is this like, nirvana? Because I am experiencing bliss." Shiro said as he nibbled his cupcake. It was dark chocolate, incredibly moist and delicious. The kitchen rarely made treats like this, but for some reason they'd decided to do it today.

"It's just a cupcake, Shiro." His fellow novice sounded amused. "Haven't you ever had chocolate before?" He asked and Shiro shook his head.

"No. I'm only technically a few months old, remember?" It hadn't really been that long since Ichigo had kicked him out of his inner world. "And even if you count the time before that, when I was stuck in that orange haired kid's head, I was only aware for a few years." His existence had begun on the day Urahara and Tessai had broken Ichigo's soul chain. That had been the first day the mask had formed and the first day Shiro's awareness had truly begun. "So yeah, no chocolate."

"You really believe all that, don't you?" Nakao said and Shiro made a face. He knew no one here believed his story, but it was still annoying to have it rubbed in his face.

"Yeah, I do." The memories might be a bit vague and unreal, but they were the only memories he had. And he knew what he was. If he concentrated very hard, he could begin charging a cero, even in this human body. It was painful though and Shiro had a feeling it would hurt if he released it. "I hope you never get proof, that might get ugly." If a hollow went after him things might get hairy. Shiro frowned to himself at the thought. "I need some soul candy." He was sure his spiritual body would be far more powerful if he could only separate it from the human body. Not as powerful as he'd been before Ichigo had been dumb enough to split them, but still powerful.

Then he felt something and completely lost interest in his cupcake. It was a tugging, a pull… Shiro's eyes narrowed as he tried to analyze the feeling.

"Zangetsu?" He asked. He was sure he recognized the power and he was getting the distinct feeling that the zanpakuto wanted him to be somewhere. But he had work that needed to be done. "Can it wait – uh, I guess not." The tugging only got stronger. "Hey Tataki, Nakao, I need to leave. I might not be back for a while. Can you tell Umio-san I'm alright but, um… shit, I don't even know what's going on." He was completely at a loss. "Can you tell him it's a family emergency?"

"Family emergency? Shiro, what are you talking about? You don't have any family!" Tataki asked as Nakao looked at him like he was insane. Or rather, more insane. Shiro grimaced.

"You know that kid I came from, Ichigo Kurosaki? I think he's gotten his ass in a crack." That was really the only reason Shiro could think of that Zangetsu would want him so urgently. "And we're still connected. If he dies, I'll die too so I need to go uncrack it. Later." He jumped up from his table, leaving the remains of the cupcake behind.

He could always find more chocolate. He wasn't going to find another life.

* * *

"Damn it." Renji cursed quietly and Ichigo didn't blame him a bit.

The hunt for the demon was not going well. Disturbingly, the number of hollows in Karakura town had decreased dramatically. Unfortunately, that was because the demon was eating them. From what he'd understood of Rukia's presentation, demons could feed in several different ways. They could take in reiatsu and power by causing pain and death, or they could devour a soul directly. Often they did both, and they didn't particularly care of their victims were alive or dead. Hollows were particularly easy prey for them, since they lacked the instinctive aversion any human or plus soul felt when they got close to a demon. Being taken by surprise by a demon was usually fatal.

Despite the decrease in hollows, though, it was proving nearly impossible to find the creature. It left only a very faint reiatsu trail and while Renji and Rukia were doing their best, it wasn't going well.

"We might have to tell nii-san we need help." Rukia said unhappily and Ichigo grimaced. That would probably mean Byakuya arriving personally and he knew the two of them did not want that to happen. It would be humiliating, needing the help of their taichou to run this thing down.

"Yeah, we might have to. I'm sorry Ichigo, we haven't even found a hollow." Renji said unhappily and Ichigo slapped him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, we'll find it soon." He said encouragingly. Although there wasn't much basis for that belief. They'd been trying very hard and gotten nowhere. Renji sighed as Rukia nodded.

"We should go back to Soul Society. Thank you for the help, Ichigo." She said with a smile that warmed him, and Ichigo smiled back. He watched as they departed through the senkaimon. The door had just closed behind them when Ichigo felt a massive flare of hollow reiatsu.

"I thought they'd never leave." His eyes went wide as he recognized the blue haired arrancar across from him. It was the first time he'd seen Grimmjow since Aizen's defeat, and his power was as strong as ever. The arrancar was still wearing the white Espada uniform and he was grinning, clearly spoiling for a fight. "You ready for a rematch, shinigami?"

"Grimmjow." He breathed before pulling out Zangetsu. "Bankai!" Ichigo blinked as he felt his spiritual pressure try to condense… and fail. "Bankai!" A bead of sweat slid down his face as his opponent waited, cleaning out his ear with a pinky finger. Just like the first time, except it wasn't working. "Zangetsu?!"

_You no longer have the spiritual pressure necessary for bankai._ His zanpakuto informed him and Ichigo paled. _You have removed half of your power. What did you think the consequence would be?_

"Oh, shit." Ichigo breathed, remembering the compliment Rukia had given him on how well he was hiding his reiatsu. But he wasn't hiding anything… there just wasn't as much to hide. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

_What good would it have done?_ Zangetsu asked and Ichigo couldn't find an answer. What good _would_ it have done? But Grimmjow was clearly losing patience with him.

"Oi, Kurosaki! What's the fucking hold up? Get out your bankai, or I'm going to fuck you up!" Grimmjow followed his words with a lightning fast strike at him. Ichigo could hardly follow his sonido and just barely managed to parry the arrancar's blade. Then Grimmjow grinned and placed a hand against the side of his blade.

The blast of power that followed knocked Ichigo into the side of a building and sent rubble raining down onto the street. It was evening and he heard cries from the people beneath him. Cursing, Ichigo pulled himself out of the wall and launched himself at the arrancar. He might not have bankai but he had to stop him from endangering the people of Karakura town!

The fight was ridiculously lopsided, but Ichigo tried his best. He simply couldn't win and while Grimmjow enjoyed playing with him, the arrancar quickly got bored. Zangetsu was ripped out of his hands and Ichigo found himself lifted up by his throat, one strong hand choking him.

"Are you playing some kind of game, shinigami?" Grimmjow questioned him, looking really pissed. "I came here for a fight and you haven't given me shit! Where's your bankai? Where's your mask?" The grip on his throat was too tight for him to answer and Ichigo gasped, trying frantically to breathe. "You either use that shit right now or I'm going to crush you."

"I c-can't!" He managed to gasp out but Grimmjow's grip on his neck only tightened. "…" Was this how he was going to die? After surviving so much… Ichigo tried to reach for the power he'd always managed to find, when things were at their worst, but it simply wasn't there –

He was utterly shocked as a blast of red power suddenly hit Grimmjow from below. It was quickly followed by a second blast that hit the startled arrancar from a different angle, knocking him into another building. Ichigo gasped and rubbed his throat, flying down to the ground to retrieve Zangetsu. As soon as he had the blade he looked to see who had saved him.

He was even more shocked to see Shiro. The boy in white was swearing and gripping his left forearm with his right hand, his left hand held out stiffly. The palm was smoking and Ichigo swallowed as he saw the burn there. Apparently, his hollow could use his powers in his human body, but only at a cost.

"Get me out of this body!" The hollow demanded and Ichigo blinked. "What? Are you fucking stupid? I can't let you die, we're still attached! But I can't fight like this and he's gonna be back any second! Get me out!" Ichigo bit his lip. He knew the hollow was right, but he couldn't get him out. He had no special glove and his substitute shinigami badge was back home with Kon. He didn't need it, after he left his body.

_Manifest me. You should still have enough spiritual pressure for that._ Ichigo nodded and closed his eyes, concentrating on bringing out Zangetsu. Without the zanpakuto's cooperation it would have been impossible, but with his help it was easy. Ichigo opened his eyes to see the young, brown haired man straight arm Shiro and knock the hollow out of his human body. The body fell to the ground, instantly dead, but there was no time to worry about that.

"Fuck you shinigami!" Ichigo turned to block the strike as Grimmjow flew at him with blood in his eyes. But he didn't get the chance. White hands caught the sword before it would have bisected his King, and Shiro gave the arrancar a wicked grin. Blue eyes went very wide for a moment as they met black and gold. "What the fuck is this?"

"Clean up your language, asswipe." Shiro rasped out, his voice taking on its' usual echoing quality. Ichigo had noticed that was missing when he was in his human body. "Or at least think of something other than fuck. And as for what I am… I'm the other half of Ichigo's power. Let's see how badly I can fuck you up!" Shiro laughed maniacally before attacking Grimmjow bare handed, with incredible ferocity. He had his full hollow abilities, now that he was out of his body, and the battle quickly got vicious. But Ichigo was puzzled as he watched. Why didn't Shiro have a weapon?

_Because you still have me. He is crippled by the separation, but in a different way._ Zangetsu supplied and Ichigo's eyes narrowed as he considered Shiro's question. What was the King without his Horse? Or perhaps… what was the Knight without his Horse?

That was a better metaphor, but the battle was a distraction, and Ichigo chewed on his lip as he watched the fight going on overhead. Shiro had to dodge constantly, unable to parry or block Grimmjow's attacks. And there was something odd about the way his hollow was fighting. Instead of the tight blasts of power Ichigo had suffered from, time and time again, Shiro was using rather unfocused cero blasts. They were hurting Grimmjow but not enough, and the hollow was bleeding from several cuts already. Briefly, Ichigo considered intervening, but what could he do? He was too slow and weak to help.

But what was the Knight without his Horse? A real knight used a lance, and without a horse it was a great, unwieldy thing of almost no use. A knight used his horse to generate the power for his charge. A knight who had been dismounted wasn't quite helpless, but he was at a serious disadvantage.

_Good. Now, switch it around. What is the Horse without his King? Or rather, Knight?_ Zangetsu asked and Ichigo scowled as he thought. What did the Knight provide to the Horse? A weapon. Without the Knight the horse could still kick and bite, but the attacks were less focused. And the charge would be nothing but body weight, no lance to bright the pressure to a point.

"Grind, Pantera!" He looked up in horror as he felt Grimmjow's spiritual pressure shoot up. There was no matching shoot up from Shiro, but it seemed the hollow had been keeping some things in reserve. Laughter floated down as Shiro gathered some blood on his palm. "HEY! STOP – " That was all Grimmjow got out before an immense cero ripped through the air. Ichigo paled, but Shiro's control was good enough that it went through the buildings without hitting any of them. It did take out some power lines and that wasn't good at all, but at least it didn't kill dozens, even hundreds of people. Grimmjow took the cero and the explosion momentarily blinded Ichigo. But then the sparks cleared and the Espada was still there, although looking distinctly battered. "YOU FUCKING LUNATIC!"

"Was that a gran rey cero?" Ichigo asked Zangetsu, finding that he rather agreed with Grimmjow. What in hell was his hollow thinking, using that in Karakura town?

_Yes, it was. And he's thinking that he cannot win._ That made Ichigo swallow. If Grimmjow killed his hollow, what would happen? _You will both die._

"Shit." Ichigo breathed as he watched Grimmjow catch his hollow's face in one clawed foot and slam him into the ground. The hollow cratered in a way that was all too familiar and Ichigo watched as he pulled himself up, spitting out a mouthful of blood. There was blood trickling down Shiro's face and he was breathing heavily, his black and gold eyes half closed as he looked at Grimmjow. The ex-Espada tilted his head to one side, examining the hollow for a moment.

"Scared yet, hollow?" He asked with a fiendish grin. But that grin turned into surprise as his victim laughed. It was high pitched and particularly insane, a sound Ichigo had always hated. But Grimmjow's reaction seemed to be more curious than anything.

"Scared? _Scared?_ You think I'm afraid of death, arrancar?" Shiro laughed again before spreading his arms. "The bloodshed, the excitement, the naked desire to _kill_… this is what I live for, Espada! It doesn't matter if I win or lose. It's all about the fight!" Shiro opened his eyes wide, grinning. "Now give it to me Grimmjow! GIVE IT TO ME!" The hollow flung himself at the Espada, taking him by surprise. And Ichigo knew that it was now or never.

"Getsugo Tenshou!" He attacked Grimmjow at the exact same moment as Shiro, and hit from two directions, the arrancar went flying again. But it was a momentary reprieve and Ichigo knew it. "Shiro! If we work together, can we access our full powers?" He asked urgently. If he was right and their separation had mirrored the roles they had been assigned, Shiro had most of the power but no control, while he had the control but little power. Could they combine the two.

"Yes, but I think I would prefer to die." His hollow said bluntly and Ichigo gave him a horrified look. "What? I hate you."

"Shiro!" Ichigo grabbed the fur ruff of his coat, trying to shake a bit of sense into his white double. "What about the monks? What about your life? Help me!" Shiro turned his head and spat out another mouthful of blood before grumbling.

"I suppose. Can't have my King begging on bended knee, now can we?" Shiro muttered, which wasn't much of a concession. But Ichigo would take what he could get. The hollow rested his hand over Ichigo's, on Zangetsu's hilt. "All together."

"Right." Ichigo said with determination. And as soon as Grimmjow reappeared, anger apparent in every line, they acted together. "GETSUGA TENSHOU!" Two voices spoke as one, and the power that rippled out wasn't just black and red, it was white. It flung the Espada away like a child's toy and he hit a building so hard he passed through. Ichigo winced at the damage but it just couldn't be helped. He hoped there had been no one in there. "Well, finally." Shiro said and Ichigo blinked as he felt the distinctive tear of a garganta forming.

"He's running away?" That was very unlike Grimmjow. He usually preferred to fight until he could hardly move. Then Ichigo caught the rest of what his hollow was sensing. "Oh." Rukia and Renji had come back, and from the feeling he was getting Byakuya was with them. Grimmjow knew better than to stay when a taichou had arrived. He was interested in fighting Ichigo, not Byakuya.

"Well, this is quite a fucked up mess." Shiro sounded exhausted as he glanced around the battlefield and Ichigo nodded. This part of Karakura town wasn't going to be the same for a long, long time. "Well, whatever." Shiro walked back to his body and Ichigo frowned as he saw the hollow wavering on his feet. His reiatsu felt very low, and he was grimly certain that Shiro had pushed himself to the very limit. Then the spirit settled into his body and immediately cursed. "Fuck, my hand!" He gripped his arm again and Ichigo knelt beside him, taking a look at the wound.

"Let me see." He said and Shiro hesitated a moment before letting him grip his hand, palm up. "Ouch." He muttered. Blisters were already forming. "It looks like a second degree burn to me. You should come to the clinic."

"I don't need your help." Shiro snarled and tried to yank away. But Ichigo reached out to grip his shoulder, holding the weakened boy in place easily. "Let go of me!"

"Shiro, I'm trying to say thank you." Ichigo said quietly and the hollow looked like he must have misheard. "If you hadn't come by when you did, Grimmjow would have killed me. I know you did it for yourself too but… come to the clinic. Dad will take care of it." Isshin wouldn't mind a bit. Shiro glowered at him for a moment, then suddenly grinned.

"Sure, he's my dad too. Maybe you should introduce him to his other son." The hollow said mockingly and Ichigo choked at the thought.

"Don't you dare say that to him. Come on." Ichigo helped the hollow up and began leading him to the clinic.

Hopefully Shiro wouldn't say anything too embarrassing, or he might have some serious explaining to do.


	6. The Catch Revealed

Author's Note: I know this is going a bit slowly, but I want the change from hate to love to be realistic, so it's gonna take a while. :) Please be patient with me!

* * *

Ichigo watched as his father took care of his hollow's injury.

"How did you get this burn? It looks almost like a scald." Isshin asked and Ichigo wondered how his hollow would reply. They'd talked a bit on the way over and Ichigo had offered a few possible stories, but Shiro claimed that he never lied. So how would he handle this?

"Playing with a projectile weapon." Shiro said and Ichigo blinked. That was technically true, what else was a cero if not a projectile weapon? It was clearly an evasion, though, and Isshin frowned.

"Tell me it wasn't a gun." He said, glancing down at the wound. "Although this doesn't look like gunpowder burns." Ichigo wasn't surprised that his dad would know that. Karakura town did have a bit of a gang problem. Shiro shook his head.

"It wasn't." That was all he said but Isshin nodded, slightly reassured.

"Well, be more careful." Isshin went to work on the wound, putting a light gauze bandage on it. Not remotely tight, it was meant to keep dust and debris out of the wound. "And I have some pain killers. But mostly, time will have to heal this. If you see any changes like swelling, oozing or fever, please come in immediately." He said and Shiro nodded. Ichigo wondered how likely his hollow was to obey that. He'd never shown much concern about anyone's welfare, not even his own.

"Shiro, can we talk a bit before you go?" He broke in as Isshin handed the hollow some pills. Shiro glanced at him and Ichigo couldn't read the expression in those black and gold eyes. But the hollow shrugged.

"Sure, if you get me some water to take these with. This hurts like a fucking bitch." Shiro said, his voice sounding remarkably normal without the echoing tone it usually had. Ichigo nodded and fetched him a small cup of water as Shiro fought to open the container with just one hand. He finally held the pill jar between his knees and used his free hand to open it.

"Good thing we're both right handed." Shiro muttered as he pulled out a few pills, popping them into his mouth before accepting the water. Then he swallowed it, washing down the pills. "I'll still be able to go to art classes, anyway." He said and Ichigo looked at him curiously.

"Why can you do art when I can't?" That seemed very strange to him. The hollow just sneered at him.

"You'd have to ask yourself that, King. You gave your own talent to me." He said and Ichigo frowned, unsure if he believed that or not. The hollow claimed he wouldn't lie, but what if that was a lie? Then he heard a grumble in his mind.

_Ichigo, your hollow was telling the truth. He has a strong aversion to lying and liars, and would never engage in that behavior._ Zangetsu said. Briefly, Ichigo wondered why his hollow felt that strongly about it. He didn't lie a lot, personally, but he was willing to tell the occasional untruth if it made life easier. Particularly about his shinigami activities. His family just didn't need the truth, really. Then he scowled. That meant all his hollows threats were… then he frowned as he thought of something. Shiro was clearly willing to misdirect and evade, within the bounds of telling the truth. Those threats he'd made…

_She looks at you with those big doe eyes like you're the most amazing thing in the world… hah! When I'm in charge, I could rip those eyes right out._

_I wonder what I could do with Karin and Yuzu, when I become King? I could kill them so easily… oh, does that make you mad? Is my King mad with his Horse?_

_That Quincy thinks he's so smart. I wonder how smart he'd be if I opened his skull and rearranged his brains? Oh, you don't like that? You know I could…_

_I could…_

_Could…_

_Could…_

Ichigo blinked, coming out of his reverie to see his hollow patiently waiting for him to speak. Shiro grinned as he realized his King had come back to his senses.

"I love watching you think. It's like watching an obese hamster trying to get the wheel started." Shiro said and Ichigo actually blushed before giving his hollow a scowl.

"How would you know what an obese hamster looks like, anyway?" He said grumpily and the hollow's grin widened. "Nevermind, I don't want to know. Would you really have hurt my friends and family?" He abruptly asked and the hollow looked very surprised for a moment. It reminded Ichigo of his expression right before the first time he'd defeated him. Then Shiro laughed, and the sound was a surprise to Ichigo. Instead of the usual insane titter, it was a warm, almost happy sound.

"Oh, finally caught on to me? The King seems to be getting a bit smarter without his Horse to rely on." Shiro taunted but Ichigo just looked at him, willing him to tell him the truth. Shiro shifted a little, frowning a bit under that hard gaze, then gave a one-shoulder shrug. "Probably not. It's not them I hate, it's you. And while it might be fun to hurt them to torture you, why bother? Being stuck in the fish tank is plenty torture all by itself." Shiro said with more than a trace of bitterness. "But what does it matter? You're not getting me back." There was a flicker in Shiro's expression, though, and Ichigo knew the hollow didn't really believe that. He wanted it to be true, he'd do everything he could to make it true, but that didn't mean it was true.

"Liar." Ichigo said and enjoyed the sight of his hollow flinching. "I will get you back, not because I want you, but because I need my powers to be whole." This had been a huge mistake. He knew that now. "I can't protect my friends and family this way."

"And it's all about you, isn't it?" Shiro said mockingly before standing and Ichigo frowned at the rage in his eyes. Perhaps he'd pushed his hollow a bit too far with that last bit. "I hate you, Ichigo." Shiro's tone was so dark and angry that Ichigo swallowed, almost taken aback.

"Why? Why do you hate me so much?" He asked. They'd fought for dominance all the time, and while Ichigo could certainly understand the hollow hating him for how they'd parted, his hatred went much further back than that. Why else would he have made all those threats? Shiro just laughed and it was a bitter, angry sound.

"Because you hate me." He said before yanking open the door with unnecessary force. Ichigo winced a little at the bang. "See you later, _King._" Ichigo watched him go, filled with misgivings. Yes, he'd hated his hollow, but when had that started? And his hollow had been a complete lunatic right from the start. Why wouldn't he hate that dark force in his mind that seemed hell bent on devouring him?

It was probably because Shiro was a boy now, but Ichigo almost felt bad about it.

* * *

Elsewhere, in Los Noches.

Grimmjow paced on the remains of one of the broken towers, idly kicking away bits and pieces of the ruins as he thought.

He'd faced Ichigo again, and it had been a complete letdown. The kid was completely useless without his hollow. The fight with that hollow, though… that hadn't been an even match, not even close, but it had got his pulse racing. That pretty white bastard was insane.

Pretty. Ichigo's inner hollow was pretty, with his flowing white hair and snow white skin. The skin looked soft, too, under the protective hierro. Grimmjow would never have admitted it to anyone else, but he'd been getting hard during that fight. Ichigo had never sparked his lust… but Ichigo wasn't really a hollow. Even when he'd been using his mask, the power had been at a remove.

This time Ichigo's hollow power had been right in his face. And it was sexy as fuck. The fact that the white bastard was a bit weaker than him only made things better, really. He could be dominated and Grimmjow had a feeling, more instinctive than logical, that told him the hollow might be receptive. What was his name? He hadn't caught it in that mess.

So now he had a decision to make. Was he going to act on his urges and take that hollow? Or was he going to let the opportunity pass on by? Grimmjow grinned to himself. When he put the question that way, there was really only one answer.

He'd have to go hunting. The easiest way to get a hollow's attention was generally through the stomach, and while Ichigo's hollow might not need to eat Grimmjow was willing to bet he'd enjoy it. And it might take a while to scare up a kill suitably impressive enough for his intentions.

But he had a while. He had all eternity, if necessary.

* * *

"Hey, Nakao?" Shiro peered inside a cage, pressing his hand to the bars. The little ball of lard and fur inside didn't stir. "Do you mind if I steal your hamster?"

"What do you want him for?" His friend asked, naturally suspicious of odd requests. Shiro grinned. He had that effect on people.

"I want to paint his picture." He explained and Nakao blinked at him. "I need to practice with the brushes, and it's gonna be a gag gift for someone." He was sure Ichigo would love it. "So can I borrow him?"

"You're really weird. Sure, go ahead, just make sure you bring him back when you're done." Shiro nodded. That might have seemed like a bit of a silly thing to remind him of, but he knew one of the other novices had taken the hamster for several days before Nakao had managed to track him down. He was a very fat but surprisingly sweet hamster.

Shiro carried the cage to his room and waited patiently for the sleeping hamster inside to stir. A few nudges of his hollow power finally disturbed the little creature and it waddled over to the wheel. Grinning, Shiro began to paint. He wasn't sure when he'd give this to Ichigo, but it would be a very amusing gift.

Evil, but amusing.

* * *

The art teacher examined Shiro's painting with a small frown as he waited.

Sajira-sama had enrolled him in an art class at the local college. For most of the people in there it was just a hobby, but a few of them, like him, were very serious about it. Shiro was learning all the things he'd never known before, like how to use brushes, palette knives, everything other than his fingers. And he'd even learned a few things about how to paint with his fingers, too. Apparently, some of the paints were pretty toxic so plastic gloves were important.

"This is very good, Shiro-kun. But why a hamster on a wheel?" She asked and Shiro snickered. "A very… large hamster." The size of the little rodent could not be denied.

"It's a gag gift for a friend." He said with a grin and she looked slightly relieved before pointing out some of the flaws in his brushwork. Shiro listened intently as she explained how he could make his painting better. He knew he had a long way to go before he perfected his technique.

Finger painting was still his favourite thing, though, and he indulged himself in it for the rest of the class. This was a more serious painting than the hamster, and he wasn't sure he'd ever show it to Ichigo. In Isshin's room was a picture book full of old photos, and that book existed in Ichigo's inner world, too. So Shiro knew what Masaki looked like and in a strange, roundabout way, she was his mother. So he was painting her holding the twins, a picture similar but not identical to one of the photographs. Shiro knew he could hurt Ichigo with this painting, but he was curiously loathe to do it. Maybe it was because it was such a nice picture, too nice to use for something like that. Although Shiro wasn't entirely sure what he would do with it. Maybe try to sell it? The college had an art gallery where students could try to sell their works. And while as a novice, Shiro wasn't supposed to accept money, he really needed some Soul Candy. The need for that was preying on his mind.

Leaving his class, Shiro tried to figure out when and how he would give Ichigo his picture of the hamster. Maybe he'd just show up at the clinic and give it to Isshin. Or maybe a better opportunity would present itself. He wasn't quite done with it yet – he was using it to improve his brushwork – but it would be done soon.

He would just have to see.

* * *

"Finally." Ichigo breathed a small sigh of relief as he reached the wishing tree.

It had taken some serious effort to convince his family to come out here for the weekend. It was a long drive, and while the park was beautiful they had been here before. But he had to get back to the tree. He had to find out how to get his hollow back.

Although Ichigo knew that if his hollow had been bad before, he would be much worse now. _Could_ might turn into _would,_ after he'd been pulled back into the teen's inner world. But it just couldn't be helped. What if Grimmjow came back? What if that demon tried to harm his family? They still hadn't managed to run it down, even with Byakuya's help. That meant it was very, very dangerous. He needed Shiro's power to help find and destroy it.

Finding the tree took a little while, but he remembered what it looked like. Resting his hands on the rough bark, Ichigo asked his question.

"How do I return my hollow to my inner world?" He asked and the spirit within laughed. It was a distant, quiet but very merry laugh.

_It will not be easy! Not easy at all! Are you sure you want to know?_ The thing asked and Ichigo scowled. Of course he wanted to know! _The part of yourself you hate, the part of your power you disdain, must consent, of his own free will, to return to you._ Ichigo's mouth dropped open and then he swallowed as he heard the amused malice in the spirit's voice. _Only then will you be complete._

"But… but that's impossible! My hollow would never…" Ichigo shook his head. "I couldn't even ask him!" Asking his hollow to reunite with him… Shiro would spit in his face. "That's crazy!" The spirit had put him in an impossible spot. He only heard some giggling, then had the sense that the spirit had turned away. "Damn it!" Pressing his head to the bark, he tried to think. He was much weaker without Shiro, and the hollow was weaker without him. Maybe… if they could work together…? "Oh god." Ichigo groaned to himself, lifting his head from the tree. "This is insane." Yet, he couldn't think of any alternative. Insane or not, he'd have to try to convince his hollow to work with him. But how would he do that? Ichigo bit his lip, thinking about it. Zangetsu came to his rescue again with a gentle suggestion.

_Perhaps you should try to defuse some of his hostility. Try to get to know him. He appears to have friends, he cannot be as bad as you think. _That made Ichigo blink and it suddenly occurred to him that Zangetsu had to know his inner hollow much better than he did. They lived together in the same place, after all.

"Zangetsu?" He turned around and sat down, his back to the tree. The rest of his family were off exploring some of the nature trails, but he just wanted to think. "What can you tell me about… Shiro?" It felt so odd, referring to his hollow by a name. There was a brief silence from the zanpakuto.

_I will not betray his confidence._ The sword spirit finally said, to Ichigo's surprise. His hollow and Zangetsu were _that_ close? _But I will tell you some general things about him, thinks you could have observed for yourself._ That made him flush a little. Was he really that oblivious?

"What can you tell me?" He asked and just waited for the zanpakuto to speak. Zangetsu was obviously picking his words with care.

_When you first met your hollow, he was exactly what he appeared to be – your primal instincts. He had no empathy, no real understanding of human emotions. Over time, that has changed._ Ichigo listened intently. He'd never really noticed any change in the way his hollow was acting. _Part of it is simply his personal evolution. He shares in your intelligence, and he was unformed when he was awakened. Your inner world has copies of every book you have read, whether you remember them or not._ Ichigo blinked, surprised. That would be a lot of books. _He's read most of them. That helped teach him about humans and their emotions. But mostly, the changes were caused by you._

"Me? What do you mean?" Ichigo asked. How could he have changed his hollow? There was a pause and he had the sense again that Zangetsu was choosing his words carefully.

_Subconsciously, you began to use your hollow as a repository for anything you found uncomfortable in some way. That included things that were very dark, but also more innocuous things, like your talent for art. These things that you have rejected have molded your hollow and made him more human. He is a reflection of you, in many ways._ Ichigo grimaced at the thought. It made him feel a little ill. But then he winced as he sensed a chilly disapproval from his zanpakuto.

"I'm sorry. It's just… I don't know if I can do this." He said, and felt the disapproval lessen. "I've never befriended someone just to use them before." And that was what this would be. He didn't want to be Shiro's friend. There was a momentary silence from Zangetsu, then a soft sigh.

_If that is truly how you feel about it, then I would recommend you make the best of your current powers and leave him alone._ Zangetsu said and Ichigo bit his lip. _You need to open your mind and heart, Ichigo. I know it's difficult. I watched the hatred festering between the two of you, but I did not intervene because it was your personal journey. Now, though, Shiro is outside you and you can converse with him, interact with him. Is this not an opportunity to learn about the other side of you?_ Ichigo scowled for a moment, then sighed. Inner contemplation was really not his thing, but it wasn't inner at the moment. Maybe Zangetsu had a point.

"I'll think about it." But he resolved not to approach Shiro unless he could follow Zangetsu's advice.

He'd never made friends with someone just to use them before, and he wasn't about to start now.


	7. Bitter Truths

"This is a little awkward." Ichigo muttered as he looked at the Buddhist monastery.

He knew a bit about it, of course. It had been part of Karakura town much longer than he'd been alive. From what he heard, the property, along with several others, had been willed to the Buddhist temples. The monks lived in this property and the rest were rented out to help support their charitable activities. And they were very active in the local charities.

Ichigo had never actually been here though. His family was only nominally Buddhist and this was a monastery, not a temple. He had no idea what it would look like. Finally taking his courage in his hands, he went to the front gate. To his surprise, it was unlocked. He gently pushed the wrought iron gate open, closing it behind him, and looked at the gardens. It was absolutely beautiful and purely ornamental, full of ancient, wizened trees and little stone paths. There was a large koi pond and Ichigo wondered how his hollow had come here in the first place. It seemed far too peaceful to suit him.

There was a monk in orange robes sweeping the paths and Ichigo hesitated before going to him. He looked up with a smile as he approached.

"May I help you, young sir?" He asked politely and Ichigo nodded.

"Please, if you could, I'm looking for Shiro?" Ichigo didn't think he'd need to describe his hollow, and he was right.

"Ah, Shiro, such a strange boy… I believe he went out to play." The monk said vaguely and Ichigo blinked. Play? His hollow? "He's a very good boy, always works hard although he tells the most fanciful stories… yes, he usually goes to the playground in the park. The one with the spot for skateboarders, he loves to skateboard."

"Really?" Ichigo couldn't help but be surprised. But he knew which park the monk meant. "Thank you, I'll see if I can find him there." Hopefully he would.

It took a while to hunt Shiro down, but he finally managed it. However, his hollow wasn't skateboarding. He was leaning against a tree and fiddling with a cigarette.

"What is the point of these things? I mean, I've read about them but they just sound foul – ow!" Ichigo watched as Shiro used an incredibly tiny cero to light it, and burnt himself slightly. "Huh." Then the hollow took a deep drag from the cigarette and Ichigo winced as his eyes went wide right before he bent over and began trying to hack his lungs out. "ARGH! What the… people do this? WHY?" He said when he had a bit of breath back and Ichigo couldn't help but smile.

"I have no idea." He said, remembering his first experiments with cigarettes. It had gone pretty much the exact same way, and then he'd sworn to never touch them again. Shiro started at his voice and turned, falling into a fighting stance. "I'm not here to cause trouble. I, um, I brought you a brownie." Yuzu had made some last night and he'd put one in a plastic baggy for his hollow. If he was going to try to get to know him, it seemed wise to start with a peace offering. Shiro looked at him warily.

"I think I'll pass. What do you want?" He asked and Ichigo sighed to himself. His hollow was not going to make this easy.

"Shiro." He said softly, looking into his hollow's eyes. Trying to make a connection. "I had a long talk with Zangetsu, and he said this is an opportunity for me to really get to know you. I've decided that he's right, and I'm hoping you'll give me a chance." His feelings weren't the only ones that mattered here. If his hollow refused to let him in, this experiment would end right now. Shiro scowled at him for a moment, but then his expression softened into an oddly flattened smile.

"The old man would say that. You're serious, aren't you?" He said and Ichigo nodded. "In that case, pass me half of that brownie. You eat the other half so I know it's not poisoned."

"Hey!" Ichigo bristled and was about to tell his hollow off, but he managed to hold it back. Shiro had no reason to trust him, after all. Instead he broke the brownie in half and passed it over. He nibbled on his portion as Shiro savored his.

"Damn fine brownie. She melts chocolate into it, doesn't she? S'good." Shiro mumbled and Ichigo nodded.

"She does. You know how to cook?" He asked. That seemed a little odd, but Shiro had probably been learning plenty of things at the monastery. The hollow nodded.

"Yeah, I have wicked knife skills, I get to chop things in the kitchen all the time. And I watch and listen, so I learn stuff." Shiro said, glancing at the skateboarding area. "You want to try skateboarding, King? I don't remember you ever doing that." Ichigo hesitated a moment, then shrugged. His hollow had a skateboard with him, it was leaning against the tree.

"Sure. I don't have a skateboard, though." That would be a problem. Shiro nodded.

"We can swap out. Watch me and see how it's done." His hollow smiled. "Just like Getsuga Tenshou in bankai." He said, but his tone was teasing, not nasty.

So Ichigo got to watch his hollow skateboarding for a while. Shiro was very good at it, but that wasn't really too surprising. It was all about balance and athleticism, two things that his hollow had in spades. He noticed that Shiro was wearing something different today. Instead of the all-white outfit he'd first seen him in, Shiro was wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt with the words 'not crazy, just insane' written on the front in red. Ichigo definitely agreed with that. He was also wearing a white windbreaker, open in the front. It was still too chilly out to go without some kind of coat or sweater.

He watched as Shiro jumped off a curb and made his board flip several times before he neatly landed on it. Then the albino skated up beside him, flipping the board up.

"You want to try?" He asked and Ichigo nodded, taking the board. "Don't try any tricks yet, King, or you'll be road pizza." He said with a grin.

"I know, thanks." He knew those tricks Shiro had pulled weren't as easy as they looked. Although once he got a feel for the board, he might try something. Pushing himself off easily, Ichigo began to learn how to skateboard. For someone who'd cut his teeth killing hollows and dealing with Isshin's sneak attacks, it was relatively straightforward. It didn't take him long at all before he'd mastered the basics.

"King, that's not a good idea!" Shiro called as Ichigo aimed at a railing. He snorted to himself. He'd seen the hollow do it, it couldn't be that –

"Damn!" As he tried to go down the railing the board got away from him. That wasn't too much of a problem, though, he knew how to fall and rolled easily –

**WHACK! **Ichigo gasped as pain lanced through his head. His vision went blurry and there was a curse behind him. Warm hands gripped his shoulders and his eyesight cleared to see his hollow helping him up.

"What the hell…?" He reached up to touch the back of his head, feeling a lump forming. But he hadn't landed there, what had happened? Shiro gave him an amused look.

"I told you not to get clever, King. The skateboard landed on your head." He explained and Ichigo looked at the treacherous board. "They're pretty heavy, it clocked you a good one. You feeling okay?" His hollow asked and Ichigo nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine." His head hurt but it was nothing serious. "I need to get my own skateboard, this is kind of fun." And if he wanted to hang out with his hollow, he needed to find something they could do together. Skateboarding was a pretty good choice, it didn't cost anything and it would be easy to meet him. "Can we just go for a walk?" He wanted to spend some time just talking to his hollow. Shiro shrugged.

"Sure, why not." The white boy picked up the skateboard, carrying it easily as they left the skateboarding area. Ichigo glanced over at him as they walked. Shiro's expression was serene and he seemed happy, just walking through the park.

"Shiro, I was wondering. How did you end up in a monastery?" Ichigo asked. He was really very curious about that. Shiro frowned and Ichigo could detect a strange reluctance from him.

"Oh, well… I was bathing in their pool every morning." He said and the teen blinked. Bathing in the koi pond? "I didn't know it was a monastery. And I didn't know that being rained on was unhealthy, it happened all the damned time in your inner world… oi, don't laugh at me!" Shiro said crossly as Ichigo couldn't help but chuckle. "So I got sick and they took me in, nursed me back to health. I think I might have died if they hadn't." He said with a scowl and that stopped any temptation to mirth. If Zangetsu was right, he and his hollow were still deeply connected. If Shiro died, he would too.

"I'm sorry, Shiro. If I'd known you had a human body I would have tried to help." Ichigo said and winced as Shiro scoffed.

"Yeah, and before I had a human body I was just something to kill." Shiro said before abruptly changing the subject. "So how did you meet Chad anyway?" The hollow asked and Ichigo frowned, remembering how he'd always had the feeling that his hollow was watching the other teenager. That had always worried him.

"We met in the eighth grade. He helped me against some thugs. Later, I helped him against some gang members. We sort of got a reputation after that." He admitted. He'd always hated that so many people seemed to think of him and Chad as hardened toughs. It wasn't really their fault that when thugs and gangbangers tried to take them out, they always won. "Why do you watch Chad so much?" He asked warily and his hollow laughed.

"Because I like him." He said simply and Ichigo blinked. "He feels a bit like a hollow and he's always calm and quiet. He's soothing to be around."

"…Huh." That explanation would never have occurred to him. Although, in retrospect, Ichigo couldn't remember the hollow ever making any threats against Sado. Was that because he liked him? "So do you have friends at the monastery?"

"Oh yeah, lots." Shiro said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his windbreaker. "I like Ken best. You know him, he's the guy who grabbed me by the ear." Ichigo couldn't help but grin as he remembered. That had been different, seeing his hollow getting dragged off like a disobedient child. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up… he's pretty cool though. He's teaching me how to fight with a knife, I've never used a weapon that short before."

"I shudder to think what you might do with a knife." Ichigo said, amused and Shiro grinned. It was a friendlier expression than his usual psychotic grins. "And I'm shocked the monks would trust you with one."

"Tch, I only hit what I'm aiming at, King." Shiro said before scuffing his foot on the ground. "Did you want to see the monastery? I really should be getting back anyway." He said and Ichigo thought about it for a moment before nodding.

"Sure, why not?" He said. He would really like to see how Shiro lived, and it was on his way home.

It turned out that his hollow was leading a very simple existence. The monks didn't believe in luxuries, so he had a sleeping mat on the floor. He also had a simple little desk with a chair that he clearly used for his homework and also sketching. Ichigo glanced over the pencil sketches and even he could tell that his hollow was working on his technique. He seemed to be trying to capture movement in several of the pieces.

"So this is where I stay. I've got a nice view out the window, see?" Shiro pointed out as he moved an easel so Ichigo couldn't see the painting it was holding. That piqued his curiosity. What was his hollow hiding from him? He glanced out the window but then took a long step, turning to look at the painting. "Hey!"

"…" Ichigo felt like he'd just been punched in the gut. He had to hold back tears as he gazed at the painting of his mother. It was a stylized rendition of a photograph, and Masaki was smiling brilliantly, holding his newborn sisters. Shiro had managed to catch her joy perfectly. He reached out to touch the picture but Shiro caught his hand.

"Don't. It's not done yet." He warned and Ichigo swallowed, turning to look at his hollow. Shiro was scowling, not at him but at the painting. "I didn't want you to see that."

"Why?" Ichigo asked. He couldn't imagine his hollow's reasoning. Shiro shrugged, letting go of his hand.

"Because I didn't paint it to torment you with. I painted it because I wanted to paint it." He said simply and Ichigo frowned before glancing at the painting.

"I have to have it. Shiro, will you sell it to me?" He asked, hoping the hollow would say yes. "Dad's birthday is coming up, he would just die if I gave him this." In a good way. Shiro frowned, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I'm a novice, I'm not supposed to accept money." He said, then tilted his head to one side. "But… I really need some soul candy, in case a hollow notices me and decides I'm tasty. I'll trade the painting for some soul candy." Shiro said and Ichigo stared at him.

"Shiro, soul candy cost maybe a thousand yen, at the most!" That wasn't much at all. Shiro sneered at him.

"Yeah, I know, but I need it and I don't have any money. Is it a deal or not?" He asked and Ichigo hesitated. It felt like he was grossly cheating his hollow.

"How about I take you to the movies too?" He finally offered. Shiro looked surprised then suddenly grinned. It was a wide, disturbing grin.

"I want to see a horror flick." He said and Ichigo winced. He'd had a taste for horror films, once, but Yuzu had begged him to stop getting them. He mentioned that and Shiro laughed. "Yeah, and where do you think that taste for horror films went? Welcome to the garbage dump of your mind." The hollow said mockingly and Ichigo slapped him on the shoulder. "Hey!"

"Oh, hush. You said it's not done yet?" He said, looking at the painting. It looked good to him. But Shiro shook his head.

"It still needs some work. But your dad's birthday isn't until next week, right? It'll definitely be done by then." A small smile crossed the hollow's face. "And I might have a picture for you by then, too." Ichigo greeted that with skepticism, which made Shiro's smile widen. "Just wait until you see it, you'll like it."

"Uh huh… well, when can I meet you for the movies?" They quickly settled on a few days in the future. "I'll have the Soul Candy for you then." Even though it would mean letting Shiro walk around in his hollow body, which was quite dangerous, Ichigo still thought it would be a good idea for him to have the candy. Because he was dead right, a hollow might decide he looked tasty. They'd gone after Chad a time or two and his friend felt almost the same as Shiro. And there was still the demon left unaccounted for.

It might definitely decide that a strange, almost human boy looked edible.

* * *

"That was the best movie ever." Shiro declared as they left the movie theater. He glanced at Ichigo, wondering if the teen would agree. He wasn't surprised to see that Ichigo was smiling.

"It was pretty good. I'd forgotten how much I liked those movies." He sounded a little melancholy and Shiro decided not to mention the mental dump again. Ichigo had gotten the picture. "Although you can see why it's rated R. How did you get us in, anyway?" He asked and Shiro grinned.

"I have vast and mysterious powers." He replied and Ichigo gave him a look. "Sorry King, not tellin'. Anyway, what are you doing this Saturday? I'm gonna be hanging out with my friends, maybe you could meet them." He didn't think Ichigo would be introducing him to his friends. They would all know there was something off about him anyway, those who didn't recognize him as his inner hollow immediately.

"Sorry, I can't. I have a date with Inoue." Ichigo said it so cheerfully that Shiro wanted to punch him in the face. The hollow scowled, his good mood evaporating like dew under a blowtorch as he was reminded, forcefully, that he had many reasons to hate his other half. "Is something wrong?" Ichigo had noticed the gathering storm clouds. But then, he'd have to be blind not to.

"We need to talk." Was all he said as he looked for some private corner where they could have it out. Fortunately the mall was open late and he dragged Ichigo over to a nice, hidden spot. "What the hell are you doing dating her? You need to break that shit off yesterday!" He snarled at his King, almost enjoying the shocked look on his face.

"What?" Ichigo said blankly, clearly trying to wrap his mind around his hollow's objection. "What do you have against Orihime?" He asked and Shiro snorted. He actually didn't give a damn about Inoue one way or another.

"I don't give a shit about her. What I care about is you and your fucking lies." He hissed, getting into his King's personal space. "Why are you dating her, Ichigo? Can you even tell me?"

"I'm dating her because I like her. What the hell is your problem?" Ichigo's tone was turning hostile but Shiro just sneered.

"Bullshit. You don't _like_ her King, not like that. You like the thought of being with her. You know other guys think she's hot so you pretend you think so, too. You like the thought of being _normal._ But you know what, Ichigo? You're not normal. You'll _never _be normal. So you need to stop this shit before you make her cry, or worse. I don't like her at all, but she deserves better than you." He said harshly as Ichigo looked at him in a combination of disbelief and anger.

"Fuck you, Shiro! You don't know anything about me!" He snapped and Shiro laughed. It was his old, insane titter and he enjoyed Ichigo's flinch.

"Talking without engaging your brain, I love it. King, I know all of your dark little secrets. I _am_ your dark little secrets, and you did that to me yourself. Would you like me to remind you of a few?" Shiro lowered his voice to a seductive croon and placed a hand on Ichigo's chest, over his heart. He expected the teen to shove him away but he didn't, staring at him wide eyed. "Like that time you were looking at Renji, and wondered if he had tattoos… everywhere… and the thought got you hard. Good thing no one noticed, hehe… or the time Chad touched you, bandaging your wounds, and you noticed how good his hands felt. Or even that time Uryu looked at you and you –"

"Shut up!" The shove came then and Shiro staggered back, grinning at the look on Ichigo's face. Oh, he was furious. But there was fear under the anger, he could smell it. "I'm not gay! I'm not! I'm dating Inoue and I like her and, just shut the hell up!" Ichigo was shouting now and he looked ready to take a swing at his hollow. Shiro took a step back. He'd clearly pushed his King as far as he dared.

"Whatever, King, whatever. You just keep telling yourself that." Shiro dropped a hand to his pocket. He had the soul candy, and the paintings wouldn't be done for a while. He could give his King some time to himself to think. "But I don't want to see you until you can tell yourself the truth." Then he turned and walked away.

He might not like Inoue much, but she deserved better than to be lied to.


	8. Ripped Off

It was the middle of the night in Karakura town. Spring birds were chirping, crickets were humming and there was the gentle sound of new leaves stirring in the breeze. And then there was the sound of a window being flung open and a soft curse as something white gripped the windowsill and pulled itself out.

Shiro had been woken out of a sound sleep by the feeling of a very powerful hollow reiatsu. Too powerful to belong in Karakura town, powerful enough to be a possible threat even in his hollow body. It had to be at least an adjuchas, but it didn't feel like an arrancar. Popping a soul candy in his mouth he'd left his body and was going to find the stranger who'd dared disturb his peaceful sleep.

He stopped dead as he found it, staring at the huge corpse lying near the vegetable garden behind the monastery. He'd expected an adjuchas, but he hadn't expected a _dead_ adjuchas. There was a folded up note pinned to the body with a small dagger and he reached out to take it, feeling more than a touch bemused. He unfolded the note and began to read.

_Hey. I'm not good at words and shit, so I'm gonna be blunt here. You're insane, you're pretty, I like you. Kurosaki doesn't deserve you. If you want to meet, have a meal on me and come meet me tomorrow down at the dead zone. It's by the railroad tracks, near this bright yellow house, you can't miss it._ Shiro tilted his head slightly. The directions were absolute crap, but he was sure he could find a dead zone by the railway tracks. Dead zones were places that reiatsu was naturally muffled. He hadn't been aware there were any in Karakura town, but they formed and dispersed naturally. _Then we can fuck. – Grimmjow._

"Heh. Well, that's blunt." Shiro approved of the planning, though. If they screwed in a dead zone, they would be able to let all their power hang out without worrying about a shinigami coming by to ruin the fun. "Hmmm." He tapped the paper against his lips for a moment, thinking about it.

Grimmjow's proposal was interesting. There was a downside, though. The arrancar was more powerful so Shiro almost certainly would be the one submitting. That didn't bother him too much, though. He was attracted to people as powerful or more powerful than him, so the possibility that he'd be the submissive one had always been there. He wanted a mate who could challenge him, and a challenge meant he could lose.

The upside, of course, was that he could have sex with a hollow who was hot as hell. Shiro pictured Grimmjow in his mind and a small smile crossed his lips. The arrancar was gorgeous. Ichigo had never noticed – getting punched repeatedly in the face wasn't sexy for a human – but Shiro sure as hell had noticed it during his fight. Another upside was just the fact that he'd get his cherry popped. Shiro wasn't sure his transformation would be forever and he refused to go back to the aquarium still a virgin.

What finally decided him, though, was part of Grimmjow's note. _Kurosaki doesn't deserve you._ Shiro could not agree more. So he smiled and put the note away before resting a hand on the adjuchas' hindquarters. Then, he began to feast. He'd never had a proper meal before in his life and he found that it was delicious.

He would have to thank Grimmjow for this, when they met tomorrow.

* * *

Grimmjow grinned as he watched the inner hollow eating the adjuchas.

He was hiding his reiatsu carefully, so he wasn't surprised the white hollow hadn't scented him. Although he had to know he was around. How else would Grimmjow know if he was meeting him tomorrow or not?

He was looking forward to that. Jumping off of his perch, he began to walk away, heading towards the railroad tracks. He'd hang out in the dead zone tomorrow. He'd stolen a few books, they would keep him occupied until the pretty bastard showed up. He'd –

Grimmjow abruptly paused before glancing around suspiciously. He thought he'd heard a footstep. It had almost harmonized with his own, but not quite. He turned around slowly, looking for anything out of place. But this was the Living world, not Hueco Mundo. It was hard to spot things out of place when you didn't know what things should look like.

But he had more than just his eyes. Extending his reiatsu sensing, he looked hard for anything out of place. For a brief moment he caught an odd scent, something he couldn't place, but it quickly vanished. Shaking his head, Grimmjow began to walk away again. It must have just been an echo –

The blinding pain caught him completely off guard. Looking down, bright blue eyes went wide as he saw the tip of a dagger sticking out of his chest. A drop of blood beaded on the tip before dropping to the ground.

"The… fuck…?" Grimmjow turned his head to look behind him. It was already getting hard to move and he could feel some kind of horrible venom coursing through his body. For someone to ambush him like this they had to be powerful. Yet, he still couldn't sense _anything._ His confusion only grew as he looked into the face of a girl. She had short black hair, skin nearly as white as that hollow, and eyes that were just weird. Green like Ulquiorro's, but with a swirling ring of luminescent pink around the centre. She grinned at him, and her teeth looked white and sharp.

"You look so delicious." She said, reaching out to stroke his cheek with one hand. Grimmjow snarled and struggled to gather his power, forming a cero. But she let go of her dagger, leaving it in his body, and clamped a hand over his. Black and gold flared and an alien force disrupted the cero. "Oh no. You're mine, now."

"Fuck you – argh!" She leapt at him then, two new daggers appearing in her hands. He drew his zanpakuto and tried to fend her off, but his movements were slow and weak. The damned poison – and he couldn't even sense it, let alone purge it. "What are you?" He panted as a dagger scraped along the edge of his sword. He would at least know what was killing him. The woman grinned again.

"A demon." Grimmjow's eyes widened at that reply. He hadn't even been aware such things were real. Aizen had never mentioned them… "Now die."

_What the fuck!_ He thought desperately as he a dagger sank into his side. He tried desperately to release his zanpakuto, take his true form, and found that he couldn't. The venom was blocking the use of his powers. _I survived Kurosaki, I survived Aizen, I even survived that bullshit attack from Nnoitra, and this is it? This is how I'm going to die? This is bullshit! I feel so…_ Grimmjow gagged as another dagger dug into his chest, and blood began to fill his mouth. _…ripped off… didn't even get to fuck that hollow…_ His zanpakuto was ripped out of his hands. The pain was immense as the woman – demon? – dug her hands into the wounds and began to feed on his essence. Grimmjow gripped her shoulders with shaking hands, trying to tear her away, but his strength was gone. He only succeeded in smearing blood on her white kimono. _Shit. Shit. I… shit._ His vision was going grey around the edges. Then there was a tearing sensation and an agony like nothing he had ever experienced before.

And then there was nothing.

* * *

The demon licked her lips as she sat on the roof of a building, considering her next move.

As demons went, she was a baby. The life cycle of demons was simple. When one of them was spawned, which happened fairly frequently, they were sent to the Living world or Soul Society to collect souls. Those souls would fuel their power, but they were not like hollows, who kept the souls forever in vast, corrupted soul collections. Demons eventually devoured the souls utterly, using them to maintain their unnatural existence. That was why shinigami sought them so vigorously. They were a stain upon the world, an abomination against the cycle of rebirth.

Most demon spawn were caught easily, but she was different. She was the child of a demon lord and his favored concubine, and if she could only gather enough souls she would ascend to the lowest rung in the ladder of the demon lords. Then she would leave this reality and return to the dark, horrible place she had been birthed from. She smiled at the thought. That last hollow had been a wonderful kill, filling her with newfound power.

If it hadn't been for her parentage, that would have been enough. Any lesser demon could have used the essence of that creature – such a strange hollow – and gone on to the other realm. But she needed more. She needed to be strong when she made the transition or the other demon lords would tear her apart. She needed _more._

She might have the power to confront the shinigami now, but she might not too. Instead, she chose the safer route. Running her fingers through the memories of the last soul she'd devoured, she smiled. Another hollow, almost as powerful as the last one she'd taken. Hollows were her natural prey, far less dangerous to her than shinigami.

She would meet the white hollow wearing the face of his lover, and take him as well. Then, perhaps, she would be whole.

* * *

Ichigo lay on his bed, thinking.

Shiro's words hurt, they really did. _I don't like her at all, but she deserves better than you. _His hollow was capable of misdirection, but he wouldn't lie, and Ichigo couldn't see how that could be at all misleading. Shiro really meant those words.

But even worse was the way he'd felt when Shiro had put a hand on his chest. The hollow had whispered dark, hidden things in his ears as that white hand had touched him, right over his heart. And he hadn't been able to stop the sudden, sick flare of desire he'd felt. For his hollow self, which was just _wrong_. At least, he thought it was wrong. Fortunately he'd managed not to get hard, that would have given Shiro way too much ammunition.

But it made him feel sick because he had to face the facts. Was Shiro right? Did Inoue deserve better than him? Was he… gay?

"Zangetsu?" Ichigo asked the only person he could really trust and confide in. "Is Shiro right? Am I gay?" There was a long pause and Ichigo wondered how Zangetsu would answer. He liked to let Ichigo lead his own life and make his own decisions. But Ichigo really needed help with this, and who else could he ask?

_That is for you to decide._ The zanpakuto finally said and Ichigo sighed. That wasn't an answer. _But Shiro told you the truth as he sees it._

"…" Ichigo closed his eyes in mental pain. He didn't _want_ to be gay. His dad and sisters would probably be accepting, but he still didn't want to be the gay kid at school. He wanted to have a family, wanted a normal life. His hollow was right. He wanted _normal._ "Damn it." Why did Shiro have to be right? He would have to break it off with Inoue. They hadn't been dating long, at least. Hopefully it wouldn't be too painful.

_Ichigo._ Zangetsu's tone made him sit up, glancing around sharply. The zanpakuto sounded alarmed. _Shiro is calling for help. Can you feel it?_ Ichigo blinked then narrowed his eyes. Now that Zangetsu mentioned it, he could feel an odd sort of tugging. _I did that when Grimmjow attacked you._ That explained how his hollow had known he was in danger. The teen had been wondering about that. _That must have showed him how. He must be in great danger._

"…Right." Ichigo didn't bother with Kon. He could safely leave his dead body in his room, his family would know what was going on. He used the substitute shinigami badge to leave his body then vaulted out the window. He didn't need Zangetsu to tell him that Shiro would only ask for help if the situation was very, very bad. The hollow was proud and more than willing to fight. "Could it be the demon?"

_That is what I fear._ Zangetsu said and Ichigo nodded grimly, following the tugging to its source.

He needed to get there in time.

* * *

Shiro smiled as he ran down beside the railway tracks.

He was feeling a tremendous anticipation. All of Ichigo's midnight dreams, all the dark and interesting desires he was trying so earnestly to suppress, they all went to him in the end. He knew his King's dreams, dreams of hard limbs, tight muscles and warm, supple wetness. Shiro wanted that for himself, wanted the real thing. And tonight he was going to get it. And if he was the one giving the wetness, well, that was fine. He was the Horse after all.

He leapt over a crossing gate easily and smiled again as he sensed the dead zone. It was very close. He stepped into the dead zone, a patch of grass like any other, and waited. It wouldn't be long before –

Shiro shied away violently as revulsion shook him. Glancing around wildly he easily spotted Grimmjow. Or rather, something that looked like Grimmjow. Really looked like Grimmjow… it was even grinning at him, just the way the Espada would. Bright blue eyes were laughing at him and Shiro snarled as the arrancar stepped closer. The feeling of absolute _wrongness_ only increased. He took a step back, then another, as his enemy tried to close in.

"Stay the fuck away from me!" He said and 'Grimmjow' paused, a look of puzzlement crossing his face. "No… I'm going to kill you!" His mind had caught up with his instincts and he knew what this had to be. He'd spent a long time talking with Zangetsu and he'd asked the zanpakuto about all kinds of mythical things, since he was curious. So Shiro knew about demons and knew that humans and plus souls had an instinctive, violent repulsion to them. Hollows didn't, but apparently being an inner hollow made him different. Grimmjow's grin turned into a snarl and Shiro began charging a cero.

"I see. You're not a hollow. What are you? Well, it doesn't matter. You'll die all the same." And instead of drawing Pantera – the sword wasn't really there – his enemy pulled out a dagger. He fired his cero but the demon leapt over it easily. Wild laughter, so like Grimmjow that it hurt, filled the air. Shiro snarled, dodging as the demon tried to gut him with that knife. Consumed with rage but aware of the terrible danger he was in, Shiro grabbed his connection to Zangetsu and yanked.

If this bitch took his soul, she'd take Ichigo too. The teen should be here to try and stop it.

* * *

"There!" There was definitely a battle going on. But strangely, Ichigo could hardly feel it, even when his hollow was unleashing cero after cero. "Grimmjow?" Ichigo stopped at the edge of the battle, feeling confused. Had the Espada hunted down his hollow for another fight? But why would Grimmjow be fighting with a knife?

Then he felt the same revulsion Shiro had. His body and soul knew, instinctively, that was looking at something unnatural and vile. Ichigo didn't need Zangetsu to tell him that 'Grimmjow' was actually the demon. Although he had no idea how the demon had taken the Espada's appearance, he knew what to do.

"Getsuga Tenshou!" He unleashed his attack at the demon, who lifted himself high into the air, letting the attack pass below. Ichigo's eyes widened as he saw dozens of tendrils, black fire blazing with gold, holding him up in the air. Abruptly, the demon's appearance changed. Abandoning Grimmjow's form, it suddenly became a woman with shoulder length black hair, wearing a white, bloodstained kimono. The demon flipped her dagger then threw it at him.

The blade seemed to catch fire and Ichigo barely got his sword into position to block it. It drilled into his blade, reminding him of how Nel's lance had drilled into Nnoitra. The effect was the same, too, as it slammed him back into a building. The pressure made his scream, but he forced it away and the power finally broke. Then he looked up as his hollow cursed.

"She's getting away!" Shiro started to go after her and Ichigo followed close behind. But the demon stopped as she leapt onto the roof of a building and suddenly cast a curtain of red down at them. Shiro made the mistake of leaping the wrong way and red entangled him, sending him to the ground. "Shit!" The muffled exclamation was hard to hear and Ichigo had to pause to tear him out of that strange red power. It didn't take long but by the time it was done, the demon was gone. "Shit, shit, shit! I will kill her! Why didn't you tell me there was a demon in Karakura town?" He suddenly demanded and Ichigo blinked.

"You didn't know?" He said blankly then winced as his hollow gave him a scorching look. He'd forced his hollow out just before Rukia and Renji had come to him with the demon problem. "I'm sorry, I forgot… are you okay?" He could see that his hollow was bleeding from several cuts, but none of them looked serious. Shiro nodded shortly.

"They're poisoned, but I'm fighting it off. I'll be fine." As long as the poison wasn't injected deeply into his body, he could easily fight it off. Ichigo looked at him in concern, then glanced around with a frown.

"What were you doing out here?" He asked. This place seemed completely barren. Then he flinched as Shiro grabbed his shoulders. The rage on his face was like nothing he'd ever seen before.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Who gives a shit about that! Grimmjow is DEAD and that's all you have to say?" He demanded and Ichigo just stared at him in disbelief. Grimmjow? What was his hollow…?

_Ichigo, demons who can shapeshift can only take on the appearance of the souls they have absorbed. Your hollow is correct. Grimmjow Jaggerjaquez is dead._ Zangetsu said, his tone gentle. Ichigo swallowed as his hollow let go of him, swearing sulferously. Grimmjow was dead? Just like that? He hadn't even sensed it happening… and why did Shiro's eyes look wet?

"Shiro." Ichigo suddenly knew. His hollow had been meeting Grimmjow here, but the demon had come instead. Not letting Shiro move away, he stepped forward and embraced his hollow. There was a moment of resistance before a muffled sob left Shiro's lips. _He's crying. I can't believe he's crying._ Until this moment, Ichigo would never have believed his hollow had enough human emotions to mourn someone. Shiro gave in and buried his face against Ichigo's shoulder. The teen gently rubbed circles on his back as the hollow quietly vented his rage and grief. Ichigo swallowed as he felt that strange heat again, desire for his other half. Seeing him so vulnerable only made it worse and he firmly pushed it down, concentrating on just giving Shiro comfort.

Eventually, his hollow took a deep breath and pulled away, rubbing his face. Ichigo watched him in concern but Shiro just gave him a cold, bitter smile.

"Well? What are we waiting for, King? Let's try to find that bitch." Shiro said and Ichigo nodded. They had a trail, although it was going to be very hard to follow. But working working together they would probably be able to kill it. And he found that he wanted to avenge Grimmjow. The demon must have ambushed him, taken him by surprise. It just didn't seem right.

Someone that proud and powerful shouldn't just vanish without a sound.


	9. Searching for a Demon

Shiro grimly applied himself to his work in the garden.

Gardening was hard work. There were always weeds trying to creep in, and the monks and novices were always working at uprooting them and defending the plants. Slugs tried to get in, too, but the stuff they sprinkled on the ground took care of them. Shiro wasn't sure how it worked and didn't particularly care.

His work in the garden had actually been kind of funny at first, because he hadn't had the least clue what he was doing or why. The monks had needed to gently explain to him that he was growing food and yes, food came out of the ground. Shiro had known about plants but until he'd had a human body he'd never known they were edible. In retrospect, he should have realized where those tomatoes, carrots and leafy greens his King ate came from. But Ichigo had never been into gardening and it just hadn't been on his radar. To a hollow, meat was the only proper food.

Shiro tried to concentrate on nothing but the garden, the weeds he was pulling and the warm sun on his back. He didn't want to think about the disaster last night. The demon was still at large, and it had Grimmjow's soul. That was quietly killing him. He hadn't really known the arrancar that well and they certainly hadn't been in love – would Grimmjow even have been capable of it? – but it just wasn't right. Shiro was determined to free his soul to continue to the cycle of rebirth.

So he was going to meet Ichigo tonight. Together, they were going to keep trying to find that monster. Together, they could defeat it. Separately it would probably eat them. Byakuya and the others were also actively looking for it. Shiro vaguely wondered how they would feel about having Ichigo's inner hollow accompanying him, then dismissed the concern. They probably knew by now that he and Ichigo were connected. Unless they wanted to kill the teen, they'd have to leave him alone.

Before they went looking for the demon, though, they were going to meet in the park and go skateboarding. Life went on, even now, and the shinigami were going to meet them there. He and Ichigo would leave their bodies with their mod souls to go demon hunting.

"Is something wrong Shiro? You seem upset." Shiro looked up to see Nakao. He was holding a bento box. "You missed lunch."

"Did I?" Shiro frowned and checked his body. He didn't feel hungry, but he did feel sick, which was probably hunger in disguise. He honestly hadn't noticed. "Thanks." He took the bento box and checked his water bottle. It was empty. "Ugh." He muttered at himself. He knew better than that, after the rain incident. "I had a rough night yesterday." He said to Nakao. The other novice nodded sympathetically.

"Trouble sleeping? I get that sometimes." Shiro nodded. He had gotten to sleep very, very late last night. That wasn't what was troubling him though. But he'd decided not to mention the demon to the monks. They'd just think he was crazy, and what could they do about it anyway? Besides get killed? "Do you need any help?"

"No, I've got this." He glanced over the garden. He'd gone through it at a good clip. "But if you want to sit with me for a while, that would be nice." It would be good to have company while he ate.

"Sure!" Nakao said with a smile and they found a spot in the shade to sit. Shiro opened the bento box and began to eat. His stomach immediately started feeling a little better. "You know, you should wear a hat."

"Hm? Why?" He said after a quick swallow. Nakao glanced down at his pure white hands.

"Your skin. You'll probably burn, and there's nothing worse than a burn on your head." He said and Shiro frowned, wondering if he would burn. Probably, this human body had so many limitations.

"I'll ask Ken, I bet there's some hats floating around here." He said. Whatever he got probably wouldn't be stylish, but it would keep the sun away. Shiro took a deep drink of his water and found that this was all making him feel much, much better. "Say, Nakao, why did you become a novice?" He knew why he was here, of course, but he imagined the other novice had a very different story. His friend leaned back against the tree behind him and reached up to adjust his glasses.

"Oh, well. My family is very serious about our religion, and I wanted to become a monk from a young age. Mostly because I wanted to help people." He said and Shiro looked at him curiously. Helping people… that was a strange thought to him, although he knew the monks did it all the time. "I thought about just doing charity work, but I finally decided I wanted to devote my life to being a monk. Are you going to be a monk, when your time as a novice is over?" He asked and Shiro grunted, thinking about it.

"I don't know." He finally said, glancing up at the sky. It was a sunny day with a few light, fluffy clouds dancing across the heavens. The kind of day he'd only seen rarely, inside Ichigo's inner world. "I feel like a fraud, you know?" He finally said and Nakao made an interrogative sound. "Helping people isn't what something like me does. I'm a monster, Nakao. It's at the core of what I am." Whatever else he was, however human he might become, he was still a hollow.

"That's not true at all." Nakao sounded so certain that Shiro blinked at him, surprised. "You help people around the monastery all the time. Half the time no one even asks you to."

"Uh…" Shiro was caught a bit off guard by that and had to think about it. It was true, but… "Yeah, but I do that because I know you guys and I live here. I'm… like a hollow in a fraccion. No fraccion tolerates dead weight." That was a given, although they would sometimes tolerate laziness if the hollow in question was powerful and able to stir himself for a good fight. "So I help out. And I know you guys. Helping out random people I don't know… it just doesn't grip me." Shiro frowned as he realized he did have a rudimentary sense of compassion. Well, of course he did. Why else would Grimmjow's death bother him? It was probably because Ichigo was still alive, and also because he was an advanced hollow. Grimmjow might have been capable of compassion and regret. How would he have felt if Shiro had been the one to die? Pissed that he didn't get to fuck him? Or would there have been any genuine sadness in him?

"Well, you still do a very good job of helping people." Nakao said, adjusting his glasses again. For a moment they caught the light and Shiro couldn't see his green eyes, which was mildly creepy. "All that work you did at the soup kitchen was just amazing. Maybe it doesn't matter why you do something, just that you do it."

"Hmm, maybe." Shiro tried to imagine living here for the rest of his life and found that he could picture it. Working in the gardens, making his paintings and auctioning them off to raise money for the monastery and charity… skateboarding and running through the park. It would be a bit boring, maybe, but it would be a peaceful existence. And there would often be blue skies without the slightest hint of rain. "I could be a monk and live here forever. But I don't think I'm going to." He said unwillingly before glancing at his friend. Nakao was frowning. "I think this can't last. I think… it's going to end sooner than later." Shiro couldn't shake that feeling. Somehow, he knew he would be going back to Ichigo's inner world and the thought pierced him with a needle of pain. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to, and yet…

"Don't be silly, Shiro. You're going to be fine." Nakao said firmly and a smile tugged on his lips. That was cute. His friend sounded like he believed it, and he probably did. But he didn't live in a world where ghosts and demons were real.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Shiro said, humoring him. Who knew? It might even be the truth. "But you won't be if you don't get back to your lessons." Shiro said, pushing himself up as Nakao checked his watch. "Oh… Nakao?" He said as the other novice began to leave. He liked the other kid, he really did. "If you see a girl with weird eyes, in a white kimono, run away really fast. Okay?"

"You are so weird." Nakao said, a bit bemused by the warning. "But I'll definitely keep it in mind. Later Shiro."

"Later." Shiro went back to his gardening, feeling refreshed and energetic. A little bit of food and water worked wonders and there was still plenty of the garden that needed tending.

When his work was done, he went to the skateboarding park. To his surprise, Ichigo was already there and practicing on a board. Shiro paused and watched him, noting that the board was brand new. But that was no real surprise. Ichigo definitely hadn't owned one before.

"Nice one!" He called as Ichigo managed to pull off a small trick. The teen looked up and Shiro was surprised by the smile that crossed his face.

"Shiro!" He quickly skated to a halt, flipping up his board. Shiro frowned, wondering why he sounded so… friendly. The last time they'd really talked it had been the fight over Orihime. "How are you doing?" He asked and Shiro shrugged slightly.

"Okay I guess." Shiro said before flipping his board down. He wanted to do a few tricks himself. "How are you doing?" The conversation felt pointless and inane, but social niceties made the world go 'round. Shiro pushed himself off, gathering speed and heading for a jump.

"Not too bad. I did well on a test yesterday. Um… Byakuya, Renji and Rukia are going to be coming." Ichigo called and Shiro grimaced. He wasn't too surprised though. They had to be very active at tracking the demon.

"Yeah, well, the midget better be careful. She's the weakest." He said shortly and Ichigo winced. "What? She is." Rukia didn't have a bankai. Everyone else involved did, except… "Well, okay, right now you're the weakest." Shiro grinned as Ichigo gave him a furious look. "Unless I'm with you, _King._"

"Why are you always such a dick?" Ichigo said grumpily, which made Shiro's grin widen. This was better than stupid small talk any day.

"Because you won't let yourself be a dick, even when you want to." Shiro retorted before trying his hand at a trick, making a jump and flipping his board before neatly landing on it. "So I get to be a dick for you. Say, Ichigo, why did you give me your artistic talent anyway?" That was just a random question and he wasn't expecting an answer. But to the hollow's surprise, Ichigo looked away, his brow creasing with pain.

"It took me a long time to figure out." He said in a low tone and Shiro had to stop his skateboarding to hear him. "Mother… she loved my drawings. She put them on the fridge and tacked them to the walls. It… reminded me of her…"

"Oh." Shiro blinked. That explanation would never have occurred to him. "Huh. Well I don't – ah." The shinigami had just arrived. Byakuya gave him a flinty look and Shiro grinned back insolently. He was not going to be intimidated by anyone. "Guess it's time to get busy." He popped the soul candy in his mouth and ignored his body as it began to chatter something truly inane. "Why in hell did you get me a Chappy?" He asked the teen who blushed a bit.

"Uh, sorry. There was a special on them – Renji!" Shiro turned to see that Renji had half-pulled his sword out and was giving him a flinty look. The shinigami clearly ached to get rid of him but Shiro just grinned.

"You try that, redhead. See how far it gets you." He said, his tone dark and mocking. Renji looked like he really might but Byakuya laid a hand on his arm.

"We are here to hunt a demon, not a harmless demi-hollow." He said calmly, which made Shiro scowl. Demi-hollow? That sounded insulting. And harmless? Fuck that. Then Ichigo touched his shoulder.

"Concentrate on the demon Shiro." He said and that redirected the inner hollow's attention wonderfully. His scowl deepened before he nodded. Renji was a nuisance, a distraction. The demon was his goal.

Unfortunately the goal seemed to be unobtainable. Byakuya had a special sensing device, courtesy of Mayuri, but it didn't seem to be working. Or the demon was just that good, which was a chilling thought. Shiro thought it was entirely plausible too, she'd eaten an arrancar. That kind of meal was a rare treat for any demon spawn.

"I hope she hasn't already gone back to her dimension." He muttered to himself, feeling sick at the thought. He couldn't allow Grimmjow's soul to be lost that way.

"Why do you care, hollow?" Renji said with hostility thick in his tone. Something about the inner hollow was rubbing him the wrong way. Shiro just grinned at the shinigami, but it was the least humorous expression to ever grace his face.

"She ate the hollow I was going to mate. She took what's mine, and I'll have it back." He said darkly and saw Ichigo swallow hard. Had he not realized what Grimmjow and Shiro had been planning to do? Maybe he figured they'd been meeting for a spar.

"You'll devour his soul to keep it in this world?" Byakuya asked. There was no hint of his feelings in his voice but Shiro scowled at the thought.

"No, I can't." It was deeply tempting, but he simply couldn't, because… "I'd have to eat part of the damned demon to take any souls out of her. No, I'll just break her body so the souls can escape." He said gruffly, concealing the hurt. "He's dead, really dead, but he can still go on." Grimmjow's body was gone, the collection of souls that had sustained him destroyed. But the soul that had given him his personality, the soul that was the essence of Grimmjow, could still be saved from a fate much worse than death. Byakuya looked at him for a moment before nodding solemnly.

"That is why we destroy all demons. Here, you take this." Byakuya gave him the sensor, to Shiro's surprise. "I believe you can be trusted. Try to use it, taking the east side of the river. We will scout the west." Shiro nodded and turned his attentions to the machine. He knew why Byakuya was giving it to him and not Ichigo. It required some delicate kido working from the wielder and Ichigo sucked at it. And while Shiro's hollow power wasn't exactly kido, it was up to the task of manipulating the sensor.

"Hmm, fucking zero. C'mon Ichi." He muttered and they flew away together. Ichigo kept glancing at him but Shiro ignored it, intent on the machine and his own senses.

But there was nothing. There was just nothing, and the night stretched on and on. Shiro was almost whimpering with frustration when Ichigo's hand touched his shoulder. He whipped around and snarled but Ichigo looked at him with concern in those warm brown eyes.

"Shiro, we have to stop." He said gently and Shiro scowled before shaking his head in negation. "Shiro, even if our mod souls are sleeping, we're not. We can't keep doing this all night. And if we exhaust ourselves before we find the demon it will kill us. What good is that?" Shiro hesitated as Ichigo's arguments reached him. The teen was right, curse him.

"…Fine. Let's go collect our goddamned bodies then." Shiro said. It took them a while to locate them, and when they did, well… "Stupid mod souls." He muttered as he looked at Kon and Chappy. "Stupid soul candies." The two of them were still in the park, but curled up beneath a tree and snoozing away. Clearly, they were using each other for body heat. There was a strange, choking sound from Ichigo and Shiro glanced over at him. He was surprised to see that the teen was blushing. "I guess they got bored waiting." He observed and Ichigo took a deep breath, getting a grip on himself.

"R-Right." Shiro's eyes narrowed at the breathless tone, then he grinned before slipping back into his body. The Chappy candy popped out of his mouth and he caught it, putting it back into the holder. It would be good for at least one more use before it dissipated and he had to use another. Ichigo did the same with Kon. "Uh… well, see you later then."

"Yeah, see you later." Later would be tomorrow, same place and same time. They were going to find the demon. Shiro rubbed his face as he walked back to the monastery.

He'd have to try to sleep in. If he was lucky, maybe he'd manage it.

* * *

"Glnx." Shiro mumbled as he set his head on the breakfast table.

He was tired. He was so, so tired. He'd only managed to eat half his congee and he felt ill. Apparently, being this tired affected his appetite. Blinking heavily, he shoved himself up and began to gather up the dishes. He was on kitchen duty today, in addition to his lessons.

"Shiro, are you okay?" Tataki asked as he entered the kitchen. Shiro wasn't surprised he'd noticed. The albino had taken a look at himself in the mirror this morning and the dark circles under his eyes were obvious. "Here, let me take those." He quickly took the dishes and Shiro grimaced.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just didn't get much sleep." Shiro rubbed his eyes again, wishing he could go back to bed.

"It's your own fault for coming in so late." Tataki said without much sympathy and Shiro grimaced. "What were you doing, anyway?" The hollow sighed as he put his hands in the soapy water and began cleaning off the plates.

"Hunting for a demon." He said, too tired to evade the question. "And we didn't find it so watch your back." Shiro scraped off a bowl into the trash before adding it to the dishwater. "Maybe if I get done this fast enough I can take a nap." He mumbled to himself and tried to increase the pace of his work.

"A demon… okay. What do demons look like?" Tataki asked and Shiro sighed to himself. He could tell the other teenager thought it was just a story.

"This one looks like a girl with black hair, green and pink eyes and a bloodstained white kimono. But she's also a shapeshifter, can take the form of any soul she's eaten. You'll know her when you see her, though. She'll make you want to puke." He said shortly as he put a plate in the drying rack. "They cause a violent revulsion in humans."

"Uh huh. Well, anyway, did you want to go swimming this Saturday?" Tataki asked, changing the subject, and Shiro frowned. He and Ichigo were going to spend the entire day demon hunting, trusting their bodies to the mod souls. Everyone was going to notice that the Chappy soul candy wasn't him, there was no way around that. It was even worse than Kon.

"Sure, why not." He quickly decided. The soul candy knew how to swim and maybe they would write off the abnormal behavior as excitement over the water. He hadn't been swimming, much.

"Great! We can have a water polo game." Tataki said happily and Shiro smiled as he listened to the other kid chatter. Both of them kept working as they talked, and before too long the dishes were done. Shiro rubbed his head for a moment. They had been fast, but there really wasn't enough time for him to sneak a nap.

The day dragged on and on, and Shiro fell asleep several times during his studies. Even worse was his knife practice with Ken. The older monk was concerned enough about him to call off the practice and send him to bed. That helped, and Shiro woke up several hours later feeling almost refreshed. He managed to work on the paintings for Ichigo before meeting the teen in the park.

"Hey King!" He greeted Ichigo. "You look like shit." He really did, with dark circles under his eyes and skin that was a bit too pale. The teen scowled at him.

"So do you. We can't stay out that late." He said firmly and Shiro nodded. He might not like it, but he knew Ichigo was right.

"Yeah, I get the picture. Today was a nightmare until Ken told me to get back to bed." How much sleep had he been running on? Two hours, three? Whatever it had been it hadn't been enough. Ichigo rubbed his face and Shiro frowned. "You okay?"

"Just tired." He said and Shiro's frown deepened. He really had pushed too hard yesterday. It was hard to remember how much physical bodies required sleep. Sometimes, in Ichigo's inner world, he'd stayed awake for days just because he felt like it. Although if he did that too long he would begin to feel the strain.

"I wonder if we could do something to draw her out?" Shiro asked as they began their search and Ichigo made a questioning sound. "I dunno… this just isn't working, and she must need more meals. But she's running out of hollows." Karakura town was basically empty of them. "She's going to be taking humans and plus souls soon." But that would be harder for the demon. Humans and pluses could feel her coming and run away. "I bet she'd like another big kill, like a shinigami."

"You should mention that to Byakuya." Ichigo said and Shiro nodded. "He could probably think of a way to set a trap for a demon."

"Yeah." Shiro honestly couldn't think of anything. But then, his brain wasn't working too well right now, even with the nap. He was vaguely surprised at how well he was getting on with Ichigo. They worked well together and it felt natural, like slipping a hand into a well-worn glove. But then, they'd worked together for a long time, even if it hadn't been voluntary. "By the way, can you come by the monastery on Sunday? The picture is ready." He asked as he looked at the monitor thing. Then he paused, coming to a stop in the air. "Huh." He thought the monitor had caught something, but it was gone almost as soon as it appeared.

"Sure. Did you get something?" Ichigo said and Shiro hissed, glaring at the screen.

"I think maybe… let's check here more thoroughly." He said, dropping down to the ground. Ichigo followed as the hollow extended his senses, searching hard.

He was going to find this thing.

* * *

The fledgling demon scowled as she huddled up more firmly, hiding her reiatsu with all of her power.

The hollow thing was becoming very, very annoying. Every night the shinigami and hollow searched for her, and the one who kept getting close was the hollow. Probably because he was some kind of weird hybrid thing, his power was harder to evade than the shinigami. He'd almost caught her several times, but the demon had managed to slip away. She smiled nastily at that thought. The one positive side to this was that his near misses seemed to be driving the hollow quietly insane.

Still, she needed to do something about this. Licking her lips, the demon considered her next move. She was running out of hollows, and she still needed at least one large kill. Considering her options, she rifled through Grimmjow's memories again. He had known where the hollow-like creature lived, and so did she. A smile crossed her face as she considered it.

She would scout out the monastery and consider her alternatives. But so far, the hollow seemed to be the best option for her final kill.


	10. Sex and Death

The demon snuck carefully through the half-open window. It wasn't easy. For some reason it wouldn't open any further, and she was having to contort her body in ways that would have made an acrobat proud. Hissing in irritation she slid in, landing quietly on the floor.

This was the room she had finally identified as belonging to the white hollow. His body was sitting at a table and drawing on something, making peculiar boing sounds. The demon carefully slipped up behind him and tapped him on the back of the head.

The soul candy popped out and the body went limp, slumping onto the table. The demon examined the soul candy for a moment before crushing it in her fist, then lifted the body and returned it to the bed. It would look like the soul candy had dissipated early, which was rare but did happen. Quickly riffling through his clothing, she found the soul candy dispenser. Smiling wickedly, the young demon emptied it and replaced the contents with marbles.

Her task would be infinitely easier if the white hollow was trapped in a mortal body, and the young demon did not believe in fighting fair.

* * *

"Are you sure about this, Shiro?" Ichigo asked as he slipped into the room behind his hollow. He was in his human body again and it was late, but not ridiculously so. Shiro nodded.

"Yeah. You should take them now." The paintings were done. And after thinking about it, Shiro had decided that Isshin should have the painting of Masaki. It would mean more to him than it possibly could to anyone else, so Shiro wanted Ichigo to take the paintings now. Just in case. "Hey what?" Shiro frowned at his body, which was tucked into the bed as if he was sleeping. But the body wasn't breathing. "What happened to my soul candy?" He muttered as he settled into the body, sitting up and stretching.

"It probably dissipated early. They can do that sometimes." Ichigo spoke from experience and Shiro scowled. He didn't like that much at all. "We had a problem with Rukia's gigai once, but it was nothing that a lot of memory modifiers couldn't cure."

"Lovely, that must have been before my time." He'd have remembered something like that. And he'd probably have been giggling his ass off. "Here, let me pack these up for you." He'd gotten some wrapping paper, twine and heavy tape just for this. It took a while before Shiro was satisfied with his packing of the Masaki picture. Then he realized. "Hah! I never even showed you the picture I made for you." Grinning, he flipped on the light so Ichigo could see it more clearly. There was a brief pause as the teen gazed at his masterpiece.

"What the… a hamster? What is _wrong_ with you?" He demanded as Shiro's grin widened. "A fat hamster… is this some kind of joke?"

"Of course it is. Remember how I said that watching you think is like watching an obese hamster getting the wheel started? And you asked how I would know what that looked like?" Shiro gestured to the painting. "Meet Hermes the hamster. But I call him Ichigo." The teen gave him a seriously pissed off look for a moment then blinked.

"Hermes? Like, the Greek god of messengers and speed?" He questioned and Shiro nodded with a grin. "Who the hell named him?"

"Nakao, it's his hamster. Apparently, he was a lot smaller when he was younger." It was still a terribly ironic name, though. "Makes Ichigo sound good, doesn't it?"

"Oi! Stop making fun of my name, Shiro Akuma." Ichigo retorted and Shiro laughed. "You've got nothing to brag about, white demon." The hollow just smiled and began to package up the second painting.

"Yeah, well, if I'd known there was a real demon in Karakura town I wouldn't have let them call me that." He said absently as he snipped the twine, tying it neatly. "There. It's not exactly a masterpiece, but it's yours." Ichigo just shook his head with a smile, then gently touched his shoulder. Shiro looked at him, surprised.

"Shiro, I wanted to tell you. I broke up with Inoue yesterday." Ichigo said quietly and Shiro blinked, almost shocked. He honestly hadn't expected Ichigo to take his advice. The teen had never listened to him before. "You were right. I… hurt her. I made her cry." Shiro shivered slightly at the pain in his voice. He understood how much that would hurt Ichigo, after what Ulquiorra had put Orihime through.

"Hey." Acting more on instinct than anything, Shiro turned and put his arms around his former King. "It's better this way, King." He murmured in Ichigo's ear. "It's better to make her cry now then twenty years down the road, when you've got two kids and finally realize you can't keep up the lie anymore. That'd just be fucking tragic." And he knew that lies often ended in things like that. Lies were destructive beyond measure. Ichigo leaned against him, resting his head against his shoulder and Shiro bit his lip as he felt something hot and wet against his skin. Was his King crying? "Ichigo." He hesitated a moment before gently cupping the teen's cheek. Drawing his face up, Shiro looked into big brown eyes that were lightly brushed with held back tears. Desire suddenly hit him and before he could think about it or reconsider, he placed his pale lips over pink.

It was an odd kiss. At first, Ichigo was completely still, not reacting at all to the warmth and passion in Shiro's kiss. The inner hollow interpreted that as rejection and began to pull away when the teen suddenly responded. Ichigo gripped the back of his head and mashed their lips together desperately, making the hollow squeak. Shiro quickly took back control of the kiss, smoothing the rough edges. One thing he knew how to do well was kiss.

That was as far as his knowledge went, though. There wasn't any gay porn in Ichigo's inner world, no surprise given how much he'd been denying the truth. If he'd been in his hollow form that wouldn't have worried Shiro much, but he knew his human body was far more fragile. And did he even want to make love with Ichigo?

That question was answered easily as they ended up on the bed together, desperately pulling off each other's clothing. Yes, he wanted this. The teen was finally being honest with himself and he'd always been the stronger of the two. Then Ichigo rubbed against him and Shiro reacted with a hoarse gasp. They were down to their boxers, and the feeling of the teen's clothed erection rubbing against his was maddening.

"Tch." Shiro muttered at himself and reached up, gripping Ichigo's hair and pulling the teen away a bit painfully. Then he grinned up into his face. "So, King, do you think you're strong enough to ride this Horse?" He made his voice a dark purr. Ichigo stared at him for a moment before yanking his head free of the hollow's grip and kissing him again, forcefully.

"I can take anything you can give me, Shiro." He said as they parted, which only made the hollow's grin widen. Then there was the tearing sound of fabric giving way and a mild pain along his side. Shiro's eyes widened as he saw Ichigo had just torn his boxers away, literally.

"Turning into a beast King… mph." His voice was silenced with another kiss and Shiro returned the favor, yanking off the other teen's boxers. Annoyingly, they were better made than his ones and Ichigo had to kick them off. But then they were naked and grinding against each other, which was pure heaven to the hollow. He wanted this, more than he could say.

It hurt though. It really did, when Ichigo started easing inside him. Shiro whimpered and buried his face against his King's neck, trying to relax and accept the invasion of his body. There was no lube because neither one of them knew it was necessary and the pain burned through his pelvis like bitter fire. Was it supposed to feel like this, for a human? Shiro felt almost dizzy at the thought. Surely there had to be more…

"Oh god, Shiro." Ichigo thought it was the best thing he'd ever felt, though. The hollow held back a snarl, his lips peeling back from his teeth. "You… okay…?" His King had just noticed that the Horse wasn't enjoying the ride.

"Not… really… ow." Shiro hissed as the teen couldn't hold back and began thrusting into him. He felt something wet on his leg and the stinging inside him increased. His softening cock rubbed against his belly and that helped a bit but not enough. This _hurt._ Maybe trying to distract him from the pain, Ichigo leaned down and kissed him again.

The slight change in position altered the angle the teen was using and Shiro gasped in his mouth as a sudden burst of pleasure hit his groin. The sensations made him tense and jerk his hips, causing Ichigo to groan into the kiss. Shiro gripped orange locks, forcing Ichigo to stay put and exploring his mouth greedily. The kiss only ended when they were both gasping for air. The thrusts hadn't stopped for a moment and Shiro moaned softly, letting his head fall back as Ichigo kept finding that good spot, probably by accident. His cock was hard as a rock, now, and Shiro gasped as Ichigo licked and nuzzled his throat, finding a good spot right under his adam's apple. The teen sucked the sensitive skin for a moment before speaking.

"Call me King." Normally, that demand would have pissed Shiro off. But right now, with Ichigo's cock firmly in his ass and the teen's reckless, heartfelt desire in his voice, it only inflamed him further. Shiro shuddered and dug his fingers into his partner's shoulders as he obeyed.

"King." He gasped the word out as his insides were tormented with pleasure. Ichigo bit his throat, making him arch at the pain. "Ah!"

"Louder." The teen demanded and the hollow whimpered, vaguely aware that there were other people here. They shouldn't be that loud… but then Ichigo sucked the wound on his neck, drinking a bit of the blood and driving Shiro wild. "Louder!"

"King!" All the passion inside him came out in that wild cry. Shiro whined softly as Ichigo went into him harder, the thrusts stinging his abused flesh. The combination of pain and pleasure was perfectly familiar to him, though. This was how hollow's mated. His instincts knew that and Shiro tried to bite Ichigo, tried to mark him but got shoved down, hard, for his troubles. Ichigo's teeth scraped across his throat in a primitive, warning gesture and Shiro cried out as his body betrayed him. The climax was dizzyingly powerful and the hollow's body tensed sharply. Shiro felt Ichigo come over the edge with him and winced at the sting of hot cum on his torn insides. But the pain was a minor thing, hardly worthy of consideration. Shiro sighed and let himself relax, nuzzling his partner's neck as Ichigo whispered sweet nothings in his ear. His body ached in some very strange ways but he still felt good, full and content –

"Shiro?" There was a knock at the door. The hollow stiffened in horror as Ichigo's eyes went wide. "Are you okay? I thought you shouted?" That was Tataki. He had a room right across from Shiro's.

"Say it was a nightmare." Ichigo hissed in his ear as Shiro tried to think of something that wasn't a lie. Lying would certainly be a lot easier right now…

"No, I'm fine! I, uh, hurt myself." That passed the truth muster, if just barely. He hadn't said how he'd hurt himself, after all.

"Oh, I can help – " Shiro was really astonished he could move that fast. But he managed to yank himself out of Ichigo's embrace and reach the door just as the doorknob was turning. Slamming his body against it, he forced the door shut. "Shiro?"

"No, I'm fine! I just – had a nightmare and fell out of bed. I'm naked." He said quickly and there was a pause, then a laugh from the other side.

"You sleep naked? You're so weird. Well, try to keep it down, it's getting late and I was trying to go to sleep." Tataki sounded more amused than anything, though, and Shiro relaxed a bit as he heard the other novice going back to his room. Carefully locking the door – he should have thought of that earlier – he went back to the bed. Ichigo was looking at him with an amused expression on his face.

"I notice you lied there." He said and Shiro hissed in irritation before limping back to the bed. His ass hurt badly and his legs were sticky with blood and cum, but he ignored it as he climbed back into bed.

"Yeah, well… okay, you've got a point about some lies. The truth sure as hell wouldn't have gone over well." He'd just flagrantly violated the rules for novices. And honestly, he didn't really care. Shiro was still pretty sure that this wasn't going to last forever and he refused to die a virgin. Not that that was a problem, anymore.

"Are you okay?" Ichigo asked in concern as he gently stroked back an errant lock of white hair. Shiro huffed a laugh before cuddling up against him.

"I feel like I've had the shit beaten out of me." He said, a little too frankly and frowned as Ichigo looked stricken. "Ah, don't look like that. It was good." And it had been good, once they'd gotten past the first part. "I'm just sore is all. I'll be fine." He was sure of that. Ichigo gave him a searching look then nodded, pressing a gentle kiss against his forehead.

"I wish I could stay, but I really need to go." He said reluctantly and Shiro nodded. If Ichigo stayed until morning, it would be a problem for them both. His family would freak out and the monks would freak out too.

"Yeah. Try not to get caught on the way out." Shiro said with a yawn. Ichigo was in his human body and had to carry two paintings, so he'd be going out the front door. Then Shiro frowned to himself. There was a possibility his lie would be caught out, someone could easily have seen Ichigo going with him into his room. "…Che." Lying was hard. Shaking aside the thought, Shiro watched as Ichigo slipped out of the bed and got dressed. He really was pleasant to look at… a rather odd thought, when you considered that they looked exactly the same. But then, Shiro thought his own looks were rather good.

"Good night, Shiro." There was warmth in the teen's voice that hadn't been there before. Black and gold eyes flicked up and Shiro smiled, feeling more than a touch of that warmth himself.

"Good night, Ichigo." He pulled the blanket over himself as the other boy left his room, and quickly fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * *

Shiro was painting in his room when it happened.

His newest painting was another try at a vase of flowers. But this time he was using brushes and sketching it out ahead of time. Sketching was turning out to be a tremendously useful thing. Being able to fix flaws before he put any paint on the page was really quite amazing.

"Uh, Shiro?" Tataki stuck his head into the room, gripping the door, and Shiro looked up with a frown. The other novice sounded unnerved. "There's… there's a woman in the courtyard. She's asking for you. Uh… she's… strange…" Now he sounded scared. Shiro's eyes narrowed then suddenly widened.

"She wouldn't have." But as he spread his senses he immediately touched a deep feeling of _wrongness._ "Oh shit! Tataki, stay right here." He snapped at his friend and grabbed his soul candy. "Stay with my body – mph?" He knew instantly as he swallowed the candy that something was wrong. "What the hell?" Tearing open the dispenser, he looked at the contents in astonishment and dawning horror. "Fuck!" The balls in his hands were not the slightly rough, matte surfaces he associated with soul candy. Instead he was holding smooth little balls swirled with colors. Cursing violently, he threw the dispenser against the wall, scattering the marbles across the floor. "Just stay here!" He rushed out, running for the kitchen. He had to get to the demon before it decided to kill someone but he couldn't go completely unarmed. Ignoring any odd looks and questions, he grabbed a nice sized butcher's knife and ran back out.

_How the hell am I going to fight it like this? But I don't have any choice – _Shiro burst out into the courtyard to see the demon conversing with a very apprehensive old monk. The man was holding his broom in front of him, clearly trying to keep some distance. Not that it would help.

"RUN!" Shiro shouted as he threw the knife at the demon. She turned and caught the blade between her fingers and the hollow swallowed hard. _Oh shit._ There was no way he could match her speed in his human body. She grinned at him and he barely managed to duck as she threw the knife back. It slammed into the wall over his head, almost parting his hair, and Shiro grasped the hilt.

"You like to play with knives? So do I!" He yanked the knife out just in time to clash it against her blade. But she had two knives, one in either hand and he frantically dodged as she struck at him with the other. She had him too close to the wall, and he ducked and rolled, trying to give himself room to maneuver.

The butcher knife clashed against daggers, and the hollow had to use every bit of his skill to keep the demon away. Shiro was frantically tugging on Zangetsu, but he thought the odds of Ichigo getting here in time to help him were almost nil. Then something happened that made his blood freeze.

"KEN! NO!" The other monk didn't know what was happening but he could feel the absolute wrongness of the demon as clearly as anyone. He was wearing his monk's robes and didn't have a weapon, but he still tried to attack the woman in white. She lashed out at him with the black and gold tendrils she'd shown Shiro before, punching Ken in the stomach and sending the monk flying. "NO!" Shiro shouted again as she went after him with her daggers. Acting more on instinct than logic and ran after her, intending to stop her from –

Then the demon abruptly turned and Shiro knew he'd been tricked. She grinned widely as her blade caught him in the belly. Blood exploded from his mouth as pain, nearly unbearable pain lanced through him. The knife in his hand went flying as she slammed him back against a wall, laughing wildly. The demon rammed the knife in her left hand through his shoulder, pinning him to the wall, then stabbed him with her right. The blade went into his lung and Shiro coughed up blood, bright red, arterial blood. He could hear screams, people shouting, but the demon didn't seem to care. The blade rose and fell, and bright red blood splattered over the white kimono and across the girl's face.

Shiro had lost count of how many times he'd been stabbed when the demon finally dropped her knife and jammed her fingers through one of the wounds on his chest. Black and gold eyes blinked slowly, the world going hazy as hideous pain invaded his body. Not just his body, his very essence. She was trying to eat him and Shiro felt it as she found Ichigo and Zangetsu as well. He whimpered softly as he realized the teen and the zanpakuto were both being sucked out through their connection to him. Then an idea came to his fading mind. It was a longshot… but maybe…

_King, be my Horse. _Shiro whispered to Ichigo, feeling the other boy's panic and pain. Ichigo was seeing through his eyes, now, the way he'd always been able to look through the teenager's. _Just this once, be my Horse. Give me your power, I need it. Just for a moment…_ It required trust, though. Could Ichigo trust him?

There was a feeling like a hand meeting his, a trust given and taken. Shiro's eyes cleared just enough to look into the demon's grinning face and he lifted his hands. It was the hardest thing he'd ever done – they felt like lead weights – but he did it. And then he unleashed their combined power.

If Byakuya had been there to see it, he would have said it was a very crude form of kido. Shiro had always been better at managing power flows than Ichigo, but he had no actual training in the shinigami arts. So he did what he could do, and pulsed the power back and forth between his hands, with the demon caught in the middle. Her mouth opened in a soundless scream, green and pink eyes going impossibly wide as the pure white power seared her. Shiro pumped everything he had into it, everything Ichigo had. He could only hope it would be enough.

It was enough. When he released the power the demon fell back, limp as a rag doll, and hit the ground hard. To Shiro's mild surprise, her body shattered like a piece of china. Bits and pieces of it rolled away but his attention was on the blue fire that rose from the shattered remains. The humans around him couldn't see it but Shiro smiled as he watched the souls vanish, finding their way to whatever awaited them in the next life. One of those souls would be Grimmjow.

"Good luck." He wished the fallen arrancar, then coughed again. "…Ugh." Shiro gasped softly as he looked down at his body, slumping and feeling the dagger in his shoulder tearing his flesh. It didn't matter though. Blood was pooling under him and Shiro knew combat injuries enough to know that what he was looking at was fatal.

"Shiro!" Ken was there, pulling the blade out of his shoulder and Shiro whimpered as big hands eased him to the ground. "Oh my god… stay with me Shiro. An ambulance is coming, just stay with me and you'll be fine."

"Liar." The hollow whispered, but without any strength. His strength was fleeing rapidly and he could feel Ichigo. The teen was still inside him, still seeing this. "Shit." If he died, Ichigo would too. That meant there was only one thing to do. _Take me back King. I can't let us both die. Take me back._ If he could only abandon this body, return to Ichigo's inner world, then the teen would survive. His body and his life as a human would be gone, but that was happening anyway. _Hurry._

Shiro had that feeling of a hand in his again, and then a gentle tug. The ties to his body unraveled in a feeling like silk on his face and Shiro let himself go, let himself be pulled away. Abandoned and empty, the body left behind stopped breathing. Ken began trying to save it, forcing air into the lungs and making the heart beat. He couldn't know that it was pointless.

There was no soul left to save.


	11. Acceptance

Author's note: I decided that ending was lame and rewrote it. XD Sorry again!

The monastery existed inside Ichigo's inner world.

It hadn't before, not really. A lot of the inner Karakura town was sketchy, reflecting all the places Ichigo had never seen or cared about. The monastery had been one of those places, a simple etching of a building. Now, it was different. Shiro cared deeply and he knew every inch of the place. Ichigo's inner world reflected that now.

The white hollow prowled the empty halls, his hair flowing in the endless water. He stopped in the kitchen, opening a cupboard and taking out a teacup. He looked into the empty little piece of china for a moment, thinking about all the times he used it. Then he put it back, carefully closing the door.

He looked into Tataki's room, glancing over the small collection of glass animals sitting on the dresser. He stopped in Nakao's room, where everything was perfectly neat. Even the hamster cage was there and Shiro rested a hand on the bars, looking inside. It was filled with shavings and even had a bowl of food pellets, but Hermes wasn't there. Finally, he visited his own room. His messy bed, the blankets still speckled with blood, were exactly how he'd left them. The painting was there and Shiro picked up the brushes, trying to complete it. But any paint he tried to add quickly washed away.

Setting down the brushes, the hollow gazed at the painting for a moment, his eyes blank and his mind far away. Then he shook his head and turned away. He left the building, walked through the courtyard then paused at the gate, glancing over the gardens. Then he stepped outside, closing the gate firmly behind him.

He would not come back again.

* * *

Shiro sat on the edge of the roof of the tallest building in Karakura town. An old clock tower, Ichigo had never climbed it. But the stairs were still there, probably because he assumed there would be stairs. Shiro didn't need to take the stairs, but he had. The simple act of walking almost made him feel alive again.

"Shiro." The hollow glanced up at the quiet voice and smiled as he saw Zangetsu. The old man was looking at him with a solemn expression. "Are you well?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He said indifferently. "I could be worse." He added as Zangetsu just looked at him. The zanpakuto nodded and took a seat beside him. "Hm?" That was slightly surprising. Zanpakuto in general were very solitary and Zangetsu was typical of that. They could go for weeks without speaking, and Shiro tried to give the zanpakuto his space.

"I am glad you are back. This place seemed empty without you." Zangetsu said and Shiro blinked before giving the zanpakuto a small smile. That was sort of touching. "I'm sure Ichigo will be here to see you soon."

"Mmm, you think?" Shiro knew Ichigo was very busy at the moment. It had been two days since his 'death' and he and his shinigami friends were working hard at convincing everyone that Shiro had been knifed by a thief he'd surprised in the act. It was proving to be very hard going. Several of the novices had been in the process of catching spiritual awareness off of him, and Ken was proving to be incredibly resistant to memory alterations. Apparently, he'd absorbed _something_ during the demon's attack and he was definitely seeing ghosts and hollows now. It was all a complete pain in the ass for the shinigami and Shiro thought it was rather amusing.

However, he wasn't really sure how he felt about Ichigo coming to see him. His feelings about the teenager had changed. There was no doubt about that. Shiro felt much better about his place as the King's Horse, now. Ichigo had really looked at him, something he'd never done before. They'd shown each other honesty and trust. However… Shiro dropped his head, looking at his hands. He was trapped in Ichigo's inner world. He wouldn't be able to go skateboarding with him again. They couldn't hunt hollows together, they couldn't go to the movies, they couldn't do any of the normal things that Shiro had been coming to enjoy.

"Of course." Zangetsu said, a little surprised by Shiro's half-question. "Ichigo has been quite worried about you. You haven't been listening?"

"No." Shiro sighed, watching the bubbles rising through the water. "I just took a few looks when they went to the monastery." And then he'd wished he hadn't. Funny or not, seeing his old home hurt him in ways he could hardly describe. "Guess I should go see what he's doing." Now that Zangetsu had mentioned it, Shiro wasn't surprised that Ichigo would be concerned. Normally, he watched events through the teen's eyes all the time and made plenty of comments. His strange lack of attention had to be driving Ichigo nuts.

"That might be good." Zangetsu said and Shiro smiled before turning his attention inwards. It was always a strange feeling, sort of a push and a pull combined, but it let him gaze out from Ichigo's eyes. Right now, the teen was at school, eating his lunch. It included a brownie and Shiro couldn't help the wave of sadness that hit him. He knew Ichigo could feel it. The teen suddenly froze.

"Shiro?" He said under his breath and the hollow hesitated a moment before responding.

_Yeah. Sorry… Zangetsu said you were worried about me. I'm fine._ He said, even though he knew his emotions would be making it seem like a lie. But it wasn't, really. He was well enough.

"You don't feel fine. What's wrong?" Ichigo asked and the hollow tried to think of what to say. _Everything_ would be the truth, but it wouldn't be a helpful truth.

_I miss chocolate._ He finally said. That simple thing seemed to encompass the whole of his sorrow and he thought that Ichigo would understand. The teen swallowed hard and Shiro thought he'd gotten the message.

"Shiro, can you taste it through me?" He asked and the hollow was slightly surprised. Ichigo had never offered anything like that before. But then, it did involve trust, which had been sadly lacking in their relationship.

_Yes, we can do that. But it means you have to give up a bit of control._ He warned and the teen nodded, unsurprised. _Remember how it felt when we worked together against the demon? It's a bit like that._ Then Shiro concentrated on reaching out. Again, it was like offering a hand and having it taken. Shiro's awareness of Ichigo's body increased to the point that he could feel the chair beneath him, feel it as Ichigo picked up the brownie and took a bite. He was still a passive passenger, but if he fought now there was a good chance he could change that, if only briefly.

The thought didn't even tempt him. Instead, Shiro simply enjoyed the brownie. It was one of Yuzu's, he could tell. When lunch was finished he gently let go, retreating a bit but still looking through Ichigo's eyes. _Thanks._ He murmured, still feeling sad but… a bit less so.

"It was nothing." Ichigo murmured, keeping his voice down as other students passed by. He was eating outside, no surprise on such a wonderful day. "I want to talk to you. I'll come visit you tonight, okay?" He said and Shiro chuckled.

_Anytime King. We are always at your service._ His tone was gently mocking and Ichigo snorted.

"As if!" He said but it was friendly banter and Shiro chuckled before retreating back to his inner world. Zangetsu was gone – it was hard to say how long he'd been sitting there, time in the inner world was often warped – but Shiro didn't mind.

He honestly felt a bit better now.

* * *

"Shiro, unh!" Ichigo moaned as his hollow placed a hand on his stomach.

The last thing he'd expected when he entered his inner world was for Shiro to immediately go down on him. But his inner hollow hadn't even given him time to speak before shoving him against a wall and kissing him, hard. He'd tried to protest but that had died very quickly when Shiro began putting his mouth on him.

That mouth was doing sinful things to him and Ichigo groaned, his head falling back. Under his pleasure was worry – this was far too fast, something had to be wrong – but he couldn't concentrate on it. He ran his fingers through thick white hair, wordlessly urging Shiro on.

He managed to pant out a warning just before sparks flashed over his eyes and he gasped as he felt the suction of Shiro's mouth on his member, sucking and swallowing his cum.

"What… was that for?" He managed to say as his hollow stood, their bodies tightly pressed together. Shiro gave him a grin before kissing him firmly on the lips.

"For trusting me… King." He said as they parted and Ichigo blinked at the tone. Before, when Shiro had called him that, it had been full of mockery and hatred. Now it sounded intimate yet oddly sad. Ichigo studied Shiro's face for a moment before reaching out to gently touch his cheek. Yellow and black eyes looked at him in puzzlement before he spoke.

"Shiro, I'm sorry." He said softly and grief flashed through those strange eyes. It was gone quickly and Shiro gave him a brittle smile.

"Nothing to be sorry about. It just had to be. And I'll take the fish bowl over being demon food any day." Shiro said lightly and Ichigo chuckled before reaching down to do up his pants. They were threatening to fall off his hips. "Would you like to spar?" He asked and Ichigo stared in surprise.

"Spar? We can do that?" His hollow had never suggested that before. But then, that had been when they were busy hating each other. Shiro nodded.

"We always could. And it might be good for you to fight against someone other than Zangetsu. He's good, but we fight differently." He said and Ichigo suddenly understood. Before, his Shiro wouldn't have wanted to let him examine his fighting style, give him any kind of advantage in their fights for dominance. Now, it was like he didn't care. Ichigo wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"Are you okay Shiro?" He said softly, meeting black and gold eyes for a moment. Then his hollow huffed out a soft breath.

"What do you expect, King? I'm as good as I can be, considering I just lost my life, all my friends, pretty much everything I care about." Ichigo flinched and Shiro touched his shoulder. "It's fine King. I told you, it had to be. And I've still got you and Zangetsu." He said, trying to put the best face on it. Ichigo was touched and a bit surprised to hear his hollow putting him in the same category as his zanpakuto. He knew they were close.

"Sure. We can spar." He said and his hollow flashed him a quick smile. Ichigo wished he could make the sadness, the wound in those strange eyes go away. Maybe a good spar would help him forget for a while.

The two of them left to find a good, flat surface, oblivious to Zangetsu watching over them approvingly.

* * *

It was Isshin's birthday today. Ichigo watched with a smile as his dad tried valiantly to blow out over forty candles. He knew his dad was actually a shinigami, so if they'd used the right amount of candles it would have required a sheet cake. It was already pretty impressive.

_That'd be asking to set the curtains on fire._ His hollow commented and Ichigo grinned. Shiro had gradually gone back to his usual, sarcastic self and it felt good to have him back. _And tell him to stop spitting on the cake, that's just nasty._

"Dad! Stop spitting on the cake." Karin snapped and Ichigo almost cracked up. His hollow burst into laughter. Isshin stopped with a wounded look.

"But my daughters! I wanted to make a wish…. Ah. Too late." There were still a bunch of candles lit. "But I already have my fondest wish! My beautiful family." He said with teary eyes and Ichigo shook his head with a smile. His dad could be so sappy sometimes.

He waited until after Yuzu and Karin had given their presents before bringing his out. He knew it would be the best, and he didn't want to detract from what they had given. He was holding the painting backwards, and carefully turned it around so they could all see.

Ichigo had hardly ever seen his father look so completely stunned. Yuzu and Karin were shocked into silence, both staring at the painting. He could feel Shiro's pride at his work, and also a faint sadness. It made him wish that his hollow could be here, sharing this moment with them.

_I am. I'm right here._ Shiro's whisper was almost inaudible. Then his father gently took the painting, gazing at it for a moment, tears slowly filling his eyes.

"It is… priceless… Ichigo, this is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me." Isshin said and Ichigo smiled before hugging his father from the side. Yuzu was wiping her eyes now as she sniffled and Karin was just staring at the picture as if she was trying to memorize it. "Thank you."

"Happy birthday dad." He murmured before letting go. Isshin began plotting out where to put the painting as his sister's went to him.

"Ichi, where did you get it?" Yuzu asked, quietly in awe. Ichigo hesitated a moment before going with something close to the truth.

"You remember that kid at the monastery, the one who was attacked by a thief?" He said a touch awkwardly. He knew his hollow wasn't too happy with that cover story, but Shiro didn't complain. "He did it from me from that old photo of mom."

_Close enough._ Shiro murmured and Ichigo smiled to himself. The hollow was loosening up a bit about the truth. Karin gave him a skeptical look.

"How did you pay for it?" She asked and Ichigo had a good response for that. It was even the truth.

"I traded him some things and a night at the movies. He was a novice so he couldn't accept money anyway." He said and Karin gave him a searching look as Yuzu blinked.

"It sounds like he was your friend. Are you going to go to the service?" She asked and Ichigo froze as he felt a bolt of pain from Shiro. The funeral service. He hadn't been planning to attend because, well, none of the monks really knew him. But he hadn't thought to ask Shiro if he wanted to go… wanted to attend his own funeral.

_No. That's the past. I don't want to look back._ Shiro said firmly. Ichigo nodded to himself. That was probably a healthy way to look at it. Then he turned his attention back to his sisters.

"No, we'd just met. I don't want to intrude." He said and they both nodded.

Shiro was right. There was no point in looking back.

* * *

"Zangetsu?" Shiro said, watching his hair move idly in the water. He was sitting on the clock tower again. It was his new favorite place, and the zanpakuto had joined him here. "What's going on?" The underwater world seemed to be changing.

Things did change in Ichigo's inner world. At first the place had been towering skyscrapers, signifying his hopes and dreams. But they had also been largely empty. To Shiro the world had seemed unfinished. Zangetsu had enlightened him about why… Ichigo had been very nearly a child when he first came into his powers. A brave and powerful young man, to be sure, but still very young. The sketchiness of his inner world had been a reflection of his lack of experience.

Now his inner world was Karakura town, which made the zanpakuto slightly sad. It meant Ichigo had lost much of his hope and had settled more into reality, but it also meant he had matured. He was beginning to find his adult self, and the changes in his inner world reflected that.

Now, it seemed the inner world was shifting again. Shiro glanced towards the west side of town. Ichigo had never really gone there, which was perhaps why it had been the start of the change. There were larger buildings there, places that did not correspond to anything in Karakura Town. They weren't soaring skyscrapers but they were interesting and Shiro had gone to take a look. He'd discovered that they were old looking buildings made of warm stone, covered in ivy. They reminded him of an old university, not that he really knew what a university looked like.

"Ichigo is regaining his hope in the future." Zangetsu sounded happy and Shiro tilted his head. "He will be going to university soon." Shiro blinked in surprise, then laughed. The zanpakuto gave him a quizzical glance.

"Sorry. I was just thinkin' that those new buildings looked like an old university. So that's it, hey? He's remembering his dreams." Shiro smiled almost fondly. That was good, his King should have hopes and dreams.

"He's looking towards the future. Will you be part of it?" The zanpakuto asked him seriously and Shiro cocked an eyebrow at him. That was a strange question.

"What choice do I have? I'm part of him." He pointed out and the old man nodded.

"But you can be more than you are now. Shiro, you are at a turning point as well." He said and Shiro frowned, not understanding what he was referring to. "Before, you and Ichigo rejected each other and fought for dominance. Now, you are coming to accept each other. Shiro, if you wish, you can remain a hollow. Or you can choose another path."

"What are you talking about? I am a hollow old man!" He snapped, beginning to feel unsettled. He didn't like where this was going. "That can't change." He said mulishly and Zangetsu smiled.

"You're right, it can't." He agreed and Shiro felt a bit of relief. "But you can change. If you give your power fully to Ichigo and accept him as your King, without reservation, you will change. You will become a kind of zanpakuto." Shiro blinked at the thought. "One based in hollow power but a zanpakuto nonetheless."

"…" Shiro looked towards the new buildings, feeling a strange conflict in his heart. He should be rejecting this idea out of hand. His instinct was to devour Ichigo and take his body for himself. But he was more than instincts now and he was becoming genuinely fond of his King. They'd made love many, many times since the first time. Shiro was uncomfortably aware that he probably couldn't bring himself to strike Ichigo down now. Sleeping with someone and then killing them was like lying, but worse. It was lying with actions rather than words and he was repulsed by the thought. "You're asking me to give up my dreams." His dream was to have a life again. The memories he had of his brief life were so bittersweet. Zangetsu said nothing. What was there to say? "I'll think about it." He finally said and Zangetsu nodded.

That was all he could ask.

* * *

Shiro looked at Ichigo, considering his options.

Ichigo was in his inner world, taking a nap as his physical body also took a nap. His head was resting in his hollow's lap and Shiro smiled as he played with the soft orange strands. His King didn't stir at all, dead to the world on a fine Sunday morning. But Shiro wanted to talk to him and after waiting a decent amount of time he gently shook his shoulder.

"Hm?" Ichigo opened his eyes lazily and Shiro smiled at the sleepy look on his face. "Shiro? What is it?" He asked with a yawn. "I was dreaming about you." He murmured and Shiro lost his smile. That made him feel serious again.

"I have enough power to challenge you again." He said it simply and Ichigo went still, his eyes opening wide. "I really want to, you know?" He was dying to have a life again. Ichigo frowned and sat up, pulling away from him. Shiro let him go. It was the sensible response when someone had just said they wanted to kill you. "But I don't think I could." The determined look that was building in Ichigo's eyes gave way to confusion, then thoughtfulness as he spotted the sadness in his hollow.

"Because you like me now?" He asked and Shiro smiled. That was a cute, human way to put it.

"We're mates now. It goes against my instincts to devour my mate." That was true. Shiro knew that hollows tended to be monogamous. It wasn't perfect – the strong did what they wanted, so rape was fairly common – but when hollows developed an emotional connection it was not a small thing. It made him wonder. Could he have forged a bond with Grimmjow, or would that have just been a one time thing? Putting that thought aside he turned his attention back to Ichigo. The teen was looking a little wide eyed.

"Mates? I guess we are…" He murmured. "I would have called us lovers though." He said with a blush. Shiro grinned. That was the human way to put it. "What are you going to do?" He asked seriously and from the look on his face Ichigo understood his dilemma. It went against his instincts to devour his mate, but his instincts also demanded that he take over this body.

"I'm going to take Zangetsu's advice." Shiro said before hugging the teen. His hair spilled over Ichigo's shoulder, a curtain of silky white. "Do you accept me, King?" He asked as Ichigo's arms went around him. Warm lips pressed against the curve of his jawline.

"Yes, I accept you." Ichigo murmured and Shiro felt something inside himself shift. He breathed a slow sigh as he surrendered his dream.

"Then I accept you… King." He said and felt the connection happen. A settling of Ichigo's soul, a mending of a long open wound. Ichigo could feel it too and his grip tightened, his hand tugging on Shiro's jacket.

"What was that?" He asked and Shiro just didn't feel up to explaining.

"You'll find out in time." He murmured. Although he wouldn't wait very long to let Ichigo know.

He would need time to adapt to using two weapons.


End file.
